That's My Bix!

My grandmother and aunt attended my brother’s birthday party early. They did this so that they wouldn’t run into my sister and I. This is all over a big family brou-haha about my sister and a different aunt. The other aunt (I’ll call her Brunhilda) was my niece’s babysitter up until recently. Then my sister (I won’t get into how) was told that Aunt Brunhilda had left my niece alone for about ten minutes. My niece was 18 months old at the time. Brunhilda’s claim was that Mr. Brunhilda was in the basement working on the computer. My sister’s thought is that Uncle Brunhilda was sleeping since he works nights, and therefore Brunhilda left the 18 month old “for only a second” while she drove her own kids to school.

My sister really isn’t upset about this issue. The problem is that Brunhilda reacted like a cornered rat and started making accusations and rationalizations. Then Brunhilda told my sister “You and I are through… you are dead to me. You don’t exist”. Fine. My sister left and hasn’t talked to her since.

I forced her, when my niece turned 2, to send Brunhilda an invitation to niece’s birthday party. It was the right thing to do. As you would expect, Brunhilda chose not to attend. As you would not expect, Aunt #1 and my grandmother also chose not to attend, in order to show solidarity to Brunhilda. No explaination. They did not offer their regrets to my sister. Aunt #1 made up a flimsy excuse and DID bring my niece a birthday present, but no present was forthcoming from my grandmother. My niece is her only great-grandchild.

My grandmother’s birthday came up about a month later. I leaned on my sister to send her a birthday card, because it’s only right and she should be the bigger person. My sister’s point is well taken however, my grandmother NEVER has asked my sister’s side of the story nor ever explained her own actions to my sister.

Suddenly, about two days after my grandmother received the birthday card, my sister receives a present for my niece’s birthday from Grandma. A month late. My sister sent a thank you card.

Now my brother’s birthday and they carefully arrange to go early, to avoid my sister and I. Aunt Brunhilda also did not attend my brother’s birthday. No explaination why.

Aunt #1 begged my mother for pictures from my niece’s birthday. The weird thing is that my niece has really changed a lot from the last time that they saw her. She’s talking in understandable full sentences. She’s gone from a baby to a little girl with a personality and sense of being. She’s fun to hang around! She really hasn’t gotten the concept of forks and spoons down yet, but that’s really her only set back.

I think that seeing her so grown up and knowing that they’ve missed out will bring these women to their senses. They’ve done wrong. They are being stubborn and stupid. Yet, there is nothing that they can do to admit this without losing face. Brunhilda has to take the position of being the wronged one, because if she didn’t, it would jeapordize her image as the Good Earth Mother. She’s a stay-at-home Mom and she’s got a very opinionated personality, that of which normally is highlighted on daytime talk shows. If she were to apologize to my sister (which she really doesn’t have to do, because that part of the situation is over), then she’d have to admit that she left an 18 month old alone with their front door wide open. She’d have to admit and then the fragile guise that she’s been trying to build all of these years will come tumbling down. Everyone will see that she starves her children. Everyone will see that her husband can’t stand to be around her. Everyone will know that she’s not perfect.