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Must see tv… at Chez Weetabix

Weetabix: I don’t like Cordelia’s new hair.

Esteban: I think it’s cute.

Weetabix: It’s all blonde and’. blonde.

Esteban: I think it’s real cute.

Weetabix: You always have a thing for blondes.

Esteban: She’s a cutie.

Weetabix: But do you think she’s cute?

Esteban: Yeah. I like it. (affecting some psuedo-German accent) Eet ees because eet is Gahrman und eet ees gut. All Gahrman ees gut. Ah lahk da blonde gulls because dey aahr Aryan und dat ees very gut. All blondes are gut!

Weetabix: (looking at him with eyebrow raised)

Esteban: Vat?

Weetabix: (still looking)

Esteban: Vat?? Vat???

Weetabix: (raises eyebrow higher)

Esteban: (dropping the accent) OH, WOULDYOUGETOFFMYBACK!

Weetabix: (giggling) Teehee! You fold like girly man. I so own your ass. Bwahahahaha!

Esteban: Well, you were all mean girl.

Weetabix: I didn’t say anything.

Esteban: But you did it loudly.

Weetabix: Whatever. Kiss my feet’.bitch.

Esteban: Who is that guy?

Weetabix: Holtz.

Esteban: I thought it was the demon dude.

Weetabix: Despite the striking resemblance, that is indeed Holtz. He’s fifteen years older.

Esteban: (in announcer voice) Fifteen years’ on the surface of the sun.

Weetabix: I like Holtz. But not with incredible melting man face. I liked him with the goatee. I like his voice.

Esteban: He’s very short. But he looks Gahrman. Maybe he ees Gahrman.

Weetabix: I also like Kiefer Sutherland’s voice. I want him to read me bedtime stories. (under breath) naked.

Esteban: He’s married. And. So. Are. You.

Weetabix: I know, but you don’t read me bedtime stories.

Esteban: So I’m your husband and Kiefer’s your boyfriend?

Weetabix: No.

Esteban: Ok.

Weetabix: Verizon Guy is my boyfriend. I just want Kiefer for his voice’ mostly.

Esteban: You know what? You’re mentally a ho.

Weetabix: I know. I know. I’m a bad girl.

Esteban: Ooooh’ say that again. You’re making me all’. Shivery.

Weetabix: You can have brain girlfriends. I’m ok with that.

Esteban: I know you are. But you’re all weird. You think like a guy.

Weetabix: I need a pedicure.

Esteban: Ok, except for that.

Weetabix: And I match my lingerie to my clothes.

Esteban: And that.

Weetabix: And the shopping. And decorating. And liking a clean toilet.

Esteban: You’re still weird.

Weetabix: I never said I wasn’t. And Cordelia’s hair is still fugly.

Esteban: Better than Spike’s.

Weetabix: If you don’t watch it, my vampire boyfriend is going to beat you up.

Esteban: See? Mental ‘ho! What happened to the Verizon Guy?

Weetabix: Well, Spike’s got these issues with daylight.

Esteban: Ahhh.

Weetabix: If I had issues with daylight, you could get a wife for the day shift. I would be ok with that.

Esteban: Say that you’re a bad girl again.

Weetabix: Freak.

Esteban: Come on’ say it.

Weetabix: (sigh) I’m a bad girl.

Esteban: Wooooooo! Now say it naked.

Weetabix: It naked.

Esteban: Aaaaargh! Not fair. Cheating.

Weetabix: You still haven’t kissed my feet.

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