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Monthly Archives: December 2002

Dorothy Parker I am not

Esteban comes into the computer room where I am reading Sundry’s diary, and places one of our juice glasses down on the desk in front of me. It is filled with dark liquid that could be grape juice, used motor oil, or bloody runoff from the leg of lamb in the refrigerator. ‘Try that.’ He […]

I am Jesse’s Girl

Jason made me use that for the title, by the way. Man, what a weekend. Ward and June just stopped over to get her suitcase that I had appropriated for JournalCon. Which was like two months ago. I’m a horrible loanee, really I am. Never loan me anything. It actually makes me uncomfortable, because I […]

I’ll take Signs Your Mom Did Too Many Drugs in the Sixties for $100,

Alex! At Christmas dinner, my mother leaned over to me with a conspiratorial look on her face. She’s never truly lost the flair for the dramatic and even then, she took a rather long pause before speaking, to make sure that she had not only my attention but that of her eavesdropping sister, my Aunt […]

Now someone get me out of the mickey fickey maze!

This Christmas has been a strange one for me. Normally, I am awash with the holiday spirit. Whenever someone else grumbles or frowns, I’m all ‘We don’t know if there’ll be snow, but have a cup of cheer!’. I find myself purchasing the Family Circles and the Woman’s Day, even though my family consists of […]

Four tasty martinis, three wacks for Joel, two current bachelors, and a

perky pair of hooters on the Weet This evening Esteban and I finished our wrapping’ I say ‘our wrapping’ but what it really was the presents for our combined families that Esteban wrapped. If I hadn’t had to coordinate and make decisions on all of the presents and keep track of who we had yet […]

It’s better to look good than to touch foot juice

Awhile back, I had the rather illuminating notion that I would be quite stressed this week and could use a pre-Christmas trip to the spa. However, being that we’re going to New Orleans in two weeks and it is after all Christmas, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to spend the $200 on a […]

It’s not friendship if you can’t call each other a sea mammal from time

to time Carissa and I don’t buy each other Christmas presents or lunch because that would leave us beholden to each other and set a feeling of responsibility, so instead we buy each other a Seasonal Cheer lunch’ which is sort of like telling someone you love them when you are drunk or through the […]

Maybe she plans on giving me Bono

Did y’all know that Andrew gave me this new toy that allows me to capture all chats that people have about me? It’s fabulous… for the Uber Gold Members only. It’s been very entertaining thus far: Wicked-Sezzy: holy god, Weetabix linked me yesterday and my stats nearly doubled Wicked-Sezzy: i’m in love with her Chauffi: […]

The beating of a raptor’s wings

I had to drive out to the University to have them put in paperwork to send my transcripts to various writing programs. Apparently, one of the program’s deadlines is this Friday, which completely snuck up on me, despite my very organized method of applying to these schools and a separate page for each in my […]

Surf and Turf Wars

The weekend is a blur, like the butt of Hayakutake and equally as gone. I doubt it will come back again for ten thousand years. Do you remember that thing? The comet Hayakutake? It was incredible. Esteban and I drove out to this park way out in the country, near my favorite golf course, and […]

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