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Monthly Archives: June 2003

One small step for man, one giant leap for my uterus

It was a lovely weekend, all in all. I had three ideas for three separate stories, including the continuing transformation of one that I’ve been resisting setting to paper, and yet it keeps infiltrating my brain. I think maybe I’m afraid that people will think it’s about me again. Like the baby story. Or, as […]

Loathe

I’m one of those haters. I hate. I can’t even help it. I hate people. I hate people I’ve never even met. I hate things. Some things I hate more than others. I immediately hate people with bumper stickers. I hate people with Nascar stickers even more, but the people who display their political or […]

As empty as a drum

I’m coming down with something, which explains my general malaise of the past two days. I skipped lunch yesterday and went home early, planning on doing all of my various housely things, such as dealing with the mass of unwashed clothes from my trip (and Esteban’s socks’ there are a buttload of dirty socks in […]

Sweet dreams are made of these

It is surface of the sun hot here. Normally, I keep a window open in the bedroom because I enjoy lovely breezes but when I got home from work last night, the humidity of the bedroom had reached deep sea levels. Also, I had my yearly physical on Monday and had a mole removed, therefore […]

Hi, have we met? I’m the wife of Kermit the frog.

Another bulleted travelog. Because it’s easier this way. Trust me. Easier.     I walked into Tiffany’s in Union Square, feeling the full weight of my unencumbered gold MasterCard in my DKNY tote. I saw a pair of diamond and aquamarine earrings that tickled my fancy. “Excuse me.” I said to the lady behind the […]

Tales from the Battlefield of Beauty

I didn’t die. So much. So much. And I wrote an outline, but I left it somewhere, so now must traverse onward. I should probably wait to post this until I have pictures, but I won’t. Because I love you all too much to keep it from you. Yes, you. Love you more than all […]

Not a Howl but a whimper

Ain’t San Francisco if you ain’t got the ‘sone

I’m not dead. Yet. So I drove down to Milwaukee on Monday in preparation for my flight out at some godforsaken time on Tuesday morning. I was all weird and weepy, since I was playing the martyr role, the strong yet tragic heroine bravely going forward despite her impending death. The entire maudlin mindset was […]

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehn goodbye

Look at me, I’m all bloggy or something, but this just cracked me up. I think it is proof that if you repeat the word ‘pork’ enough times, it becomes prime comedy. Seriously. Pork. I crack myself up now. It’s almost (but not quite better) than the word poop. I think it’s because the word […]

Toastmaster

(Scene: Esteban and Weetabix are spooning in bed.) Esteban: (snakes his hand under Weet’s t-shirt and goes for the fun pillows) Weetabix: HEY! BACK OFF! Esteban: What? Weetabix: Do NOT touch. No touch. Esteban: What? What did I do? Did accidentally hurt you? Weetabix: No, no, no, it’s just one of those things. Most of […]

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