Skip to content

Oh my darling

Tuesday was the last day for my riffed coworkers, but since I had school, I sort of walked out at noon like it was any other Tuesday, and thus missed the teary goodbyes and all of that awkward stumbling over words. Like, do you hug someone you’ve seen almost every day for the last three years, if you’ve never hugged them before? It’s a weird call, and in a way, I’m relieved that I didn’t have to make it. However, then when I came in on Wednesday, there are only nine of us left, scattered in little pods of three or four, so what had been a boisterous department, with everyone either on the phone or trying to talk out software issues, our cubicle-land has now the air of a crypt. It’s freakish. And I very much miss my friends already. There are random moments when I wonder when they will be back from vacation, except that they won’t be. I’m streaming an alternative radio station from Atlanta just so that it’s not so eerily quiet.

Last night after work, I had this weird sense of freedom in that I didn’t have to be anywhere, didn’t have anyone at home wondering why I wasn’t home yet, and could just do any damned thing I wanted to. I spent my rare bit of freedom at the grocery store! I know! I am a hard-core rock star. There, I stocked up on fruit because my god, my jeans are totally tight. In fact, even the jeans that used to be sort of loose are tight. My ridiculously loose jeans are still ridiculously loose though, so drastic measures are not yet in order. My plan of attack during these questionable times is to retaliate against ass fat with fruit, fruit and more fruit. My general feeling on weight loss is that if you do the things that you didn’t do while you were gaining weight, then you’ll lose the weight. So, given that I had lost a considerable amount of weight on Operation Hottie by eating a bare minimum of five fruits and vegetables a day, we’re back to that again.

I like to experiment with fruits, which is how I learned that I actively do not enjoy pumellos but very much adore pomegranates. Lately, I have been very interested in clementines, but I haven’t seen them in my local stores. Finally, last night, I found a display of numerous small wooden crates of clementines, but no single clementines. I was about to balk at buying an entire crate of clementines, but they were on sale for $4.99 and my god, on Tuesday night, I spent $7 on a turkey/havarti sandwich from the Not!Whole Foods in Milwaukee without even blinking, and I only ended up eating the insides because the bread was covered in some kind of organic-but-still-disgusting mayonnaise concoction. So why should I continue to be clementine-curious while there was a bounty there for the picking?

So I got the wee crate of clementines, a bunch of red pears (the best pear in all of peardom), more oranges, and a pomegranate that I swear is as big as my head. I’m going to have to wear a hazmat suit when I cut into that thing because it’s going to be a bloodbath, I can tell.

Anyway, the clementines are wonderful and I am very glad now that I have an entire crate of them at my disposal. A crate is apparently two servings because I tore through three of them for breakfast and could have had at least three more. Of course, I am losing extra weight because you burn calories peeling them, rather than just popping them into your yawp like bouillon cubes.

You know what’s the best thing ever? Having your silly internet diary read by people who share your sense of humor. You know what’s not the best thing ever? Having a holiday card exchange with said people because it is impossible to find a card that you like which would not have been scooped up by at least one other person in said holiday card exchange. So, Amy, great minds think alike and yeah, you’re getting your card right back atcha. Man, it has happened every year since I stopped making cards! You guys are just too clever.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *