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Monthly Archives: January 2005

He likes it, hey Mikey!

Yesterday morning, I woke up early and decided that the thing that would make me happiest in the world would be to have a steaming hot bowl of Cream of Rice. I love me some Cream of Rice cereal. Cream of wheat is for peasants. Oatmeal? I spit on your oatmeal. Give me Cream of […]

The Heist

So the crime. Short version: yesterday, after coming home from the store, apparently I left my purse in the car. Then, this morning, shortly after pushing the Remote Starter on my car so that it would be warmer than the 17-degree morning, our phone rang. That was odd, but I figured that it was maybe […]

Milk Carton Ad

Wow. Some bastard broke into my car last night and stole my purse. So, yeah, that sucks. Cute little red Jackie O flip wallet: Gone. Money: Gone. Credit cards: Gone. Collection of many perfect Prescriptive lipsticks: gone. Hideously ugly driver’s license picture in which I look like I should be dishing out sloppy joes in […]

Chevy Chaise

I roasted a leg of lamb on Saturday, one that I started marinating in garlic and crushed rosemary (which, try as I might to like it, still tastes stuff that I found lying around the forest) and a metric ton of lemon zest. This was an unusual recipe for me, not only in the fact […]

Can you hear the prostitutes sing?

I stopped biting my nails officially three years ago, but just like an alcoholic, there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about biting my nails. Sometimes I unconsciously put my fingers in my mouth and play the nail against the front of my teeth. It’s the nail biter equivalent of dry […]

All-temperature Cheer

I had great expectations for this weekend. Great in that I had high hopes for my ability to Get Things Done. And on Saturday, I did indeed Get Things Done, wherein the Things involved mostly a buttload of (fucking) laundry. Esteban observed me trudge up and down the stairs with heaped laundry hamper after heaped […]

Rage against the dying light

So January. I haven’t railed about how much I hate the month of January yet, but just so you know, I totally hate the month of January. If the calendar were up for a kick ball game, I would grudgingly pick January last (after trying to pick the made up month of Hexember and then […]


On Sunday, we woke up early. Actually, Esteban woke up very early, went to the bathroom, then came back to bed and woke me up with his moaning and subsequent trips to the bathroom. Poor boy was sick, abysmally so. We weren’t sure how it happened, because the only thing he’d eaten on Saturday was […]

Bork bork bork

We just had one of those weekends in which people who are not married or disdain things which are twee would certainly puke. I understand this and sort of feel that way myself, except that it really was a lovely weekend and what kind of diarist would I be if I started untweeing the twee, […]

We can live like Jack and Sally if we want

I’ve been driving Esteban’s Concorde a lot in the past few weeks, as my car has been at the dealer on a weekly basis, for the critical repairs of a leaky transmission line, at which time they ordered a replacement middle speaker (because the Violent Femmes laugh heartily at Chrysler’s wimpy little Inifiniti speakers), which […]

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