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Monthly Archives: January 2008

gotta be the shoes

When I was in junior high, I wore Tretorn Nylite tennis shoes. Screw Keds, these were what all the cool girls at my school were into, and at $30 a pop (which is probably heading into the $50 price point, taking inflation into consideration), it was a serious luxury that my great-grandmother felt was an […]

greenies make you horny, baby

When I was fourteen, I was obsessed with green M&Ms, under the impression that the green ones? They made you horny. I wasn’t really certain what the whole “horny” thing was, if I was or was not horny at any one time. I had a boyfriend. He had shown me his penis, alert and spry […]

are you there, god? it’s me, weetabix.

I enjoy science. It’s the numbers, I think, the statistics and standard deviations, all lining up nicely and pointing with blinking arrows at a sparkly conclusion. Sure, numbers can screw you but in general, science is all about the dispassionate actual concrete facts. I appreciate that now in a way I wish I could have […]

Good vibrations

It is 1984 and I am thirteen years old. For my golden birthday, my mother informs me that her present to me is that she is taking me to my very first concert. Awesome, I think! My brain immediately swirls to concert footage on MTV, the kind showing Bruce Springsteen pulling Courteney Cox up to […]

Not much about anything

I’ve been experimenting with delegating at work, exercising my dotted line-ness and whatnot. I don’t even know if that makes sense to non-cubicle folks, the dotted line thing? Have my references become so enmeshed in corporate speak that I no longer can communicate outside of banal non-threatening beige walls? Can I no longer talk the […]

A bunch of blathering about mostly nothing

I’ve been experimenting with delegating at work, exercising my dotted line-ness and whatnot. I don’t even know if that makes sense to non-cubicle folks, the dotted line thing? Have my references become so enmeshed in corporate speak that I no longer can communicate outside of banal non-threatening beige walls? Can I no longer talk the […]

My lumbago! Oy vey.

I know that earlier I mentioned that I had arthritis in my hand and that I’m a verified wreck, but it was slightly in jest. Last week, anyway. This week… my GOD the fucking arthritis! Seriously, a few days after Christmas, I actually had an interesting conversation with my friend Phil about his gout. Phil […]

Wow, look at that shiny 08!

New Year’s Day finds me, as ever, feeling extraordinarily stingy and thrifty. I always spend too much on Christmas, but seriously, I cannot help it. I grew up poor (cue the black and white grainy footage and the goddamn violins already) and that messes with your head. My mother-in-law has the same illness and we […]

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