Skip to content

Category Archives: Being a Girl Is Hard

here comes the bride, big fat and wide

Katherine Heigl, who is unabashedly gorgeous, admits that she was hating on her weight when getting ready to walk down the aisle. Katherine blames the dress and while granted, white is not exactly the most slimming of colors, what is it about an upcoming wedding that turns on our internal inferiority complex? Logistically, isn’t this […]

gotta be the shoes

When I was in junior high, I wore Tretorn Nylite tennis shoes. Screw Keds, these were what all the cool girls at my school were into, and at $30 a pop (which is probably heading into the $50 price point, taking inflation into consideration), it was a serious luxury that my great-grandmother felt was an […]

greenies make you horny, baby

When I was fourteen, I was obsessed with green M&Ms, under the impression that the green ones? They made you horny. I wasn’t really certain what the whole “horny” thing was, if I was or was not horny at any one time. I had a boyfriend. He had shown me his penis, alert and spry […]

are you there, god? it’s me, weetabix.

I enjoy science. It’s the numbers, I think, the statistics and standard deviations, all lining up nicely and pointing with blinking arrows at a sparkly conclusion. Sure, numbers can screw you but in general, science is all about the dispassionate actual concrete facts. I appreciate that now in a way I wish I could have […]

A bunch of blathering about mostly nothing

I’ve been experimenting with delegating at work, exercising my dotted line-ness and whatnot. I don’t even know if that makes sense to non-cubicle folks, the dotted line thing? Have my references become so enmeshed in corporate speak that I no longer can communicate outside of banal non-threatening beige walls? Can I no longer talk the […]

Why my life is stressed, volume 4032

I’m supposed to be working on a short story but realized that already it is December 2 and already I am behind on Holidailies. There is shame. Shame and also a very delicious bit of cake on the desk beside me as I work. The cake wins. This should be no surprise. Cake always wins […]

for want of a good pair of jeans

One of my first memories of shopping for clothing that didn’t involve Brownie uniforms is the summer I turned 11. I had spent most of the summer in a swimming suit but when it came time to put on real clothes for school, it was pretty obvious that I was never going to get that […]

The agony of the beautiful life

I have been on prednisone for five days. Yes, the pneumonia, she looms once again, but this time, I think we nipped it in the bud. Or in the balls. There was some nipping. I seem to have found a magic antibiotic this time, one that does not make me throw up and one that […]

Notes from a corporate assassin

For the last week, I’ve been dunked headfirst into project land at work. Days spent in planning meetings, and having the uncomfortable position of needing to actually pay attention to said meetings, because I was like, in charge or some crazy shit. Which is just crazy, because these people are all sort of rock stars […]

Hired corporate assassin

In the past three days, I’ve either been fulfilled with a healthy vengeance against all of the assholes in my life or this whole work project is instilling within me my own personal set of brass balls, because I have been the epitome of a boardroom bitch, except instead of wearing YSL, I’m usually in […]

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...