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Back on the chain gang

As I mentioned in the previous entry, I got a job. Heather took umbrage with the fact that I buried the lede, and yes, true dat. I never pretended that I wasn’t a dirty little tease, Heather.

Here’s what happened: Sometimes I’m awesome in interviews (in high school, I actually placed gold for the interview category in Academic Decathalon every year) and sometimes my heart really isn’t into it, but I had read the job description and knew that it was practically modeled in the Shape O’Weetabix and I had a million anecdotes that pertained to the role, so I didn’t even break a sweat  when the recruiter called me for the screen and then called back to set up an interview with the hiring manager on last Monday, which I could tell that I rocked. Then the recruiter called back and asked if I’d be willing to talk to one of the people who would be a team member. Ah, the peer interview. I know of this peer interview thing, so I was confident that I had made it to probably the Final 3. We played phone tag a few times, and then on Thursday, while I was setting up our tag sale, I sat in grubby jeans in my office and had a delightful conversation with the team member that, as far as I could tell, was the best and most confident interview I have ever mustered.  Later that same day,  I found myself negotiating salary and benefits while standing in my garage, surrounded by tables full of old lamps and houseware rejects from the 90’s.  As if to further emphasize how excited they were to get me on board,  they asked if I could start on Monday. As in, 72 hours from that phone call. I checked my calendar for Monday and saw nothing more pressing than taking Ave for a walk at 9 am and then (fucking) laundry from 10 until I succumb to old age, I said “Sure, why not.”

The new gig is doing very many of the things I used to love about my old job, wearing a big Six Sigma sherriff’s hat and creating new processes and examining how people do things and when and where they make decisions based on which variables blahety blah blah conference callcakes. I know. It’s weird, but I kind of get off on statistics. The amazing thing is that it’s actually a much better job than I had before: I’m reporting directly into a Senior Vice President and am part of something that he has referred to several times as his “Senior Leadership Team”, a term that I would very much like bedazzled in rhinestones on a black baby tee, please.

There are lots of interesting nuggets about this new job: lots of travel, for instance. Belgium was mentioned, although with this economy and the fact that most companies are practicing something called “Travel and Expenditures Austerity”, I’ll believe it when my ass is nestled in a seat in Business Class on the next flight to Bruges. Also, on Tuesday and Wednesday, the SVP drove up from the home office just to have face-to-face introductions and also an intense overview of the team tenets and his philosophies, which are quite frankly, really refreshing, especially given the attitudes about business that I was accustomed to in my previous position. Also, I am really enjoying the new boss. He had me during the first staff meeting when, during a silent moment, he said “Bueller… Bueller” and I don’t say this often about coworkers and definitely not about bosses, but this is honestly the kind of guy that I would hang around with even if I weren’t being paid to do so.  In fact, I wonder if I would even be cool enough for his posse. He probably wouldn’t use the word “posse”.

Oh, the funny thing? I’m back at the same company that riffed me in January.

There I go, burying the lede again.

That’s been the oddest experience and honestly, amped up the first day jitters by about tenfold. I mean, it took some serious stones to walk back into the same building again. The riffing was, to say the least, confusing.  I had always been a strong performer and apparently had left a pretty intense shock wave when the news of my untimely departure hit the gossip circuits.  Carissa, a friend and new teammate, said yesterday, “We always assumed that when people were riffed, it was deadweight, like there was a reason, but then it was you. YOU! And that freaked a LOT of people out, myself included. We couldn’t make sense of it.” Well, that went for all of us.

However, sitting on Day 3, it’s honestly been amazingly (for lack of a better word) vindicating.  The SVP told me repeatedly how highly regarded I was by many people, and throughout the last few days, we’ve been interupted more than a few times by people who are coming in to express their excitement that I’m back and on this new initiative. And to be frank, the team is full of rock stars and I’m kind of amazed that I’m getting to call them peers.

So, there it is. The little bit of nastiness leftover from January (god, I hate January) has been mostly undone. I’m calling the time between January 21st and May 29th my “sabbatical” which is a much more pleasant and doesn’t bring to mind the dire mental gymnastics of “omg what am I going to do for money?” that happens when you’re watching a severance package slowly dwindle down to nada. Speaking of which, part of my return means that I had to give up the remainder of my severance package (for some reason, they don’t want to pay me double for a month, darn it) but I also come back with the full old-timer’s portion of vacation time. And the job is totally better than the last one, with a jump up the org chart, an amazing boss and a ton of new cred. And I already know where the bathrooms are.

However, the first person who says that bad things happen for a reason is going to get the finger.

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