Yesterday, Esteban and I went to the video store and rented and purchase some DVDs.
It was then that we realized that we did not actually own a DVD player.
This isn’t such an entirely weird thing to imagine… not remembering that you do not actually have a DVD player. All of our friends have them. We have just about every other electronic toy in the world (although no digital camera, note to self). So instead, we looked at each other and we a little perplexed.
“I guess we need to get a DVD player.” says Esteban.
I was in a fairly good mood because it was pouring rain outside and I was not, in fact, camping at that moment, huddling in some sodden tent, freezing cold, shitting in a pit toilet, suspending my bare ass above some germy, cryptosporidium sludge. So I say “Ok” and we hop in the Montester and off we go to Best Buy.
I find the DVD player that I like and we go in search of a blue-shirted wonder to fetch us one. “Uh… we’re out.” We wait for 15 minutes for him to see if they have one in the Appleton store, 30 minutes away. During this time, I plop myself in front of the 61 inch projection televisions. Yum. I don’t care if High D is coming… I want me some widescreen goodness.
Then he returns. Nope, they don’t have them at the Appleton store, but they’ll be getting a truck in tommorrow, so we should drive 20 minutes down there and check maybe tommorrow. “Do you know for sure that you will get this model in tommorrow?” A blank look on his face. “Um… let me check.” Another 15 minutes of drooling at the 61 inch wonder in front of me. I have decided at this point that I want the glare-reduction screen as it looks much better. Who would be foolish enough to request the glossy screen? It makes no sense.
Blue-Shirted Dolt returns. “Uhm…. I can’t tell you if they have one or not.” So we memorize the DVD players stats (Panasonic DVD-RV31 for $179.99 plus tax) and head to Circuit City.
For the record, I have never walked out of Circuit City happy. They always piss me off. Always. One time I walked in to tell someone that a vehicle in the parking lot had it’s lights on and they referred me to the service desk. To wait. And wait. Grr.
So we find the model, but they have it for $199.99. No problem, I think. I’m certain that they have price matching or whatever. I talk to a sales guy. He’s defensive. I explain that they have the model at Best Buy up the street for 179.99. “But I know they’re out,” he says. “Someone was in here before looking at this one. We can only match price if Best Buy has it in stock.”
At this point, Esteban’s dander is up. He argues. The guy gets his manager who basically repeats Circuit Shitty’s same stupid policy. They’ll turn away customers rather than match an advertised price if their competitor is out of it. But come back tommorrow when Best Buy gets their shipment in… then we’ll match the price. But why would we come back here instead of going to Best Buy? They didn’t know either.
So we drive to Sears. They have a Panasonic, but an older model for 199.99, without the MP3 player option that the other model had. Nope. Then we go to Home Electronics. Nope. I call Shopko and Kmart and MallWart. Nope nope nope.
I call American in Appleton. They have it for $199.99. We drive to Appleton and find the unit for $178.99. The weasel sales guy approaches us. “Can I help you with something?”
A testament to our relationship, Esteban and I both say in unison “We’ll take this one.”
Weasel boy is shocked. He’s never had such an easy sale. He starts questioning us on why we want it so badly, immediately thinking of marking up the price, no doubt.
So then we drove home and watched our very bad DVD’s that we rented (for the record: Pay it Forward, Duets and What Women Want).
And I love American in Appleton. I am very happy with our consumerism today.
Oh, and while we were at Best Buy, Esteban scored a new video card, so he’s doubly happy with our electronics extravaganza.
With one quick move, the Schucharts LEAP into the 1990’s.
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Today and yesterday, I have the curse. It’s unbelievable really. Men should, if they do not already, thank god that they don’t have to deal with this ever in their lives. Too many pairs of my underpants have been sacrificed to the Great Estrogen Goddess.
This morning I was dreaming about Russell Crowe and a cramp woke me up.
That’s a crime, people!
I’m just warning y’all right now… buy stock in Advil this week, ’cause that mofo’s going UP!
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Did I mention how much cold and miserable I NOT today? That’s due to the NO CAMPING thing.
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Thursday night we did the sing thing at Player’s with Joel and Cheri. I have to tell you, I rocked the house.
You know that you’re grooving when complete strangers come up to you with this look in their eyes, like they’re touching greatness, and say “Wow, you have such a good voice.”
Plus, I actually got “Encore”d by some guys. They loved me.
Broke through the whole “fat girl” barrier once again. Love that. I had those frat boys drinking out of my palms.
But then I watched the drivel that was Duets and now must take a shower. I think it was trying to be Pulp Fiction but with karaoke. Nothing with Gwynneth Paltrow can be Pulp Fiction, people. Plus, she’s too god-damned skinny. Eat a fucking cheeseburger, you skinny bitch! Then think about how you threw away Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck.
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This morning, the Estrogen Goddess demanded most of a bag of Oreo cookies and 4 ounces of peanut butter fudge. I am her slave. I bow before my mistress. Do with me what you will, just don’t take away my Advil!
