I checked the television listings to check to see what time the Russell Crowe Celebrity Profile was airing on E! and found that one of the networks (I haven’t the foggiest which one, it’s channel 3 in our area, which used to be CBS, but now I suspect is ABC or possibly even the Home Shopping network, I’m not terribly certain anymore) is airing a television program called “Best Commercials You’ve Never Seen (And some you have)”.
Now, right from the start, it’s a bit wrong that the commercials are now their own program, but I’m OK with this, simply because ad copy is a wonderful art and highly unappreciated (with the exception of that “I’m Coming Out” Levi’s commercial with the singing bellybuttons in it. The ad whiz who thought up that one belongs in Dante’s seventh layer of hell, to be flogged by the “Where’s the Beef” woman and an insincere Dave Thomas, Founder of Wendy’s). Take for example, another Levi’s commercial for Levi’s cords, showing a man walking through a forest wearing corduroys, making “Zoot Zoot” sounds as he walked and being chased by a horny badger. There wasn’t even a script to that one. A horny badger is funny in any language.
However, my essential problem with this show is that it’s a repeat. Thus, the title isn’t really accurate. It should be called something like “Best Commercials We Could Come Up With” or maybe if they wanted to be more honest about it: “Summer Rerun of the Commercials We Showed During February Sweeps Week, but They’re Still Funny”
I was thinking about immortality last night and I ran into a show talking about Fred Rogers. And I then decided that if I had the chance to grant immortality to any person on the earth, it would be Mr. Rogers. Simply because Mr. Rogers should never die. Not ever. I will bawl big horrible tears and my face will be screwed up for days if Mr. Rogers should ever pass away.
The man’s voice is phenomenal. It’s better than Prozac and years of therapy. Think about it.
Can you think of a single happier place to be than Mr. Roger’s fun little cottage, with it’s little fish tank and shelf full of the miniatures from the Land of Make Believe? I mean, Mr. Rogers was really the voice of King Friday! And Trolley! Wasn’t Trolley the coolest damn thing you ever saw in your life?
I was always pissed off that I had miss Mr. Rogers when I had to go to grade school in the dark ages, before VCRs. There was no edge, like the Electric Company had. There was no simpering, like Sesame Street. Just you and Mr. Rogers and Lady Elaine Fairchild and Prince Tuesday and the like.
Mr. Rogers is retiring from making the Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood show. He’s planning to do some educational recordings and computer programs for children now. But it makes me so happy to know that SOMEONE when I was growing up recognized that he knew I was special and I had him as a friend. And that makes my world a better place indeed.
Eddie Murphy should apologize to him for making fun of him on Saturday Night Live so many years back. But then, I know Mr. Rogers wouldn’t require him to do that. Mr. Rogers would forgive him. That’s why I love Mr. Rogers so much. He’s so much better than most of us.
Thus, Mr. Rogers should be granted immortality.
But I do think that possibly Lady Elaine had a drinking problem. And she might also have been a relative of Jane Hathaway from the Beverly Hillbillies. Not certain. But I should probably go to hell for thinking that.
