So Esteban and I went to Joel and Cheri’s fantabulous annual Christmas Party. This is the first time they’ve entertained in their new mansion… er, house… and it was a spectacular party. For twenty one guests, the menu included: four whole tenderloins, one turkey, one ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, rolls, and a plethora of appetizers, including (because I’ve undoubtedly forgotten some) baked brie with roasted garlic, some sundried tomato pastry thing, half a smoked salmon, a school of shrimp cocktail, a fruited pavlova, more brie, various sausages, cheeses, crackers, veggies, cookies and the like, taffy apple salad, cranberry something jello-y thing, and an oodle of various Christmas candies.
I faired pretty well, as I hadn’t eaten anything all day I expected to hoover up everything in sight. I pretty much stuck with the salmon, shrimp and fruit salad because I am a whore for merangue. I was in a bit of a grumpy mood, however, because I spent at least 20 minutes putzing on my hair, to emerge from the bathroom with what Esteban called “the look of studied messiness”. Whatever. Bastard.
Then we had the White Elephant gift exchange. In case you are unfamiliar with this concept, the guests bring wrapped items which, theorhetically they have received from previous years… things which are no longer wanted or, hopefully, so godawful that they long to get rid of them. The hope is that “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”, but most of the time, the hope is to screw your friend over with a truly awful item. Last year, Beth received a disassembled bicycle in a box. Scott received a mosquito net hat, some fruity smelling lotion and a Victoria’s Secret catalog (I figured it was all sort of a camping theme there…stuff to do in the woods and all).
This year, our two gifts were a yellow purple and green clock I had received free from an office supply company back when I used to manage the homeless shelter AND a teapot shaped like a pig. Pork Tea Pig is his name. My mother actually bought that and presented it to me several years back, conveniently forgetting that she had told me the story about finding that pig in a swanky department store, marked down four hundred percent, because no swanky person in their right mind wants to drink hot tea coming out of the snout of a pig, much like boiling pig snot. Go figure. Esteban has been pressuring me to White Elephant it ever since. This year I relented.
I ended up with an actually very nice little porcelian espresso set and Esteban got a box full of strange stuff including a dull set of hedge clippers, four feet of green garden fencing, and some ridiculous mock software, which he intends to put up in his computer lab.
A good time was had by all. However, I stupidly was drinking Diet Pepsi and was wired to the max when we left at 11:30, then stayed up until 3:00 in the morning. Bad Weetabix. Esteban is still sleeping, having gone to bed two hours before me.
Because I liked how the previous entry looked so much, I thought I’d fill the rest of this page with pictures as well. These are all from the party last night.
This is Phil (the guy with the band whom I occaisionally write about), Cheri, and Scott. You can also see Michuru poking his head up in the background between Scott and Cheri.
God watches as Matt and Beth unwrap Beth’s birdcage and Soccer Santa (a statue of Santa kicking a soccer ball). Joel is in the background with apparently a halo…. must have been earned cooking such an incredible spread.
And yes, god help us, that IS a snowman wearing a Cheesehead and donning a “Go Packers” sign.
This is a rather artistic shot by Markus of my very good friend Kim unwrapping what turned out to be dozens of used florist vases. Joe sits next to her with his gift, a vacuum cleaner which smells like burning rubber when it runs.
Here’s me with one of my very favorite people in the whole world, Markus. And, actually, the only person to ever write a guest entry on this here page. I’m wearing my Slutty Ho lipstick… probably a bit over the top, but I think I carried it off nicely… and maybe it helps distract a little from that double chin action I’ve got going on there.
The beauty that is the World’s Best Pair of Socks!!!! Also, notice the shoelaces kindly sent to me by Bfee! Woohoo!!! Love the combo. Happy Feet!
