Last year, I wrote an ‘summing up the year’ entry for 2000. Here’s 2001. My normal entry is here
I played laser tag with a bunch of 12-year-olds and reacquainted myself with laughing so much that milk comes out of ones nose.
I became a diarist. I got quoted, interviewed, nova noted, and blogged, but most importantly, I made lots of cool online friends whom I cherish.
I went to Margaritaville. I swam with dolphins in the ocean. I avoided being stung by jellyfish. I watched the sunset over a billion-dollar island. I sat in a bathing suit in front of strangers and didn’t even care.
I came back and learned that my paternal grandfather had died. And no one had told me. I didn’t cry.
My Betty died. I cried and cried.
Thousands of strangers died and I cried and cried, together with the rest of the nation.
Everyone I know got pregnant or had a baby’. Well, ok, not the men.
I went to a Mullet Concert with Carissa. We sang Journey songs at the top of our lungs as we drove home. There is no greater friendship than that where you can sing ‘Faithfully’ to each other and not feel even a hint of awkwardness.
I got a splinter in my butt. A guy named Howard removed it.
I turned 30. An army wished me ‘Happy Birthday’ and it gave me the vapors.
I had a weird karmic ‘one in a million’ meeting with an old friend.
I stopped biting my nails’. Again.
I quit caffeine cold turkey’ for 24 hours.
I discovered Harry Potter.
I somehow became an authority on Fantasy Football without ever having played. Then I played Fantasy Football. I suck at Fantasy Football.
I met Spike. I touched Spike. I wanted to lick Spike.
I caused someone to quit her job at Taco Bell.
I snarked my way out of having to go camping.
I was diagnosed with ‘red fucking face’ disease.
I found my porn twin.
I had a Renaissance outfit created. I wore it for exactly ten minutes.
I went from having zero strands of real pearls to having two strands of real pearls.
I discovered that Zebra mussels suck, stepping on a bug is enough to make me want to vomit, and too much farty laughter makes me faint.
Once Ward and I began to scheme and removed Esteban from the home improvement equation, I initiated some pretty incredible changes to our house, including new front door surround, new faucets, new cabinet thingy in the bathroom, new tub surround, all new plumbing, and our home gained 72 square feet of living space.
I saw Rent. I got a big crush on Jeremy Kushnier’ or maybe the character Roger, I’m not certain.
I discovered that there is a God because He finally granted my wish of having a Barnes & Noble nearby.
I refused to subject myself to stupidity, rudeness, or self-objectification any longer.
I made goals and stuck to them. I made other goals and didn’t. I made Christmas cards. I made reservations for dinner. I stopped trying to accomplish things just because other people thought I should. I gave in to my obsessions, admitted my failings, and realized that it made me that much better.
I discovered the joy of driving around in a pickup truck on a warm summer day with my bare legs sticking out of the window.
Have a wonderful new year.
