I’m certain that everyone is wondering: Why did Weetabix torment the poor teacher by pummeling her lawn with rotten eggs and plastic utensils? Could that teacher have actually been all that bad?
I offer you simply this, written by Ms. Tschuss (whose name has still been changed to protect the marginally innocent):
Thanks a LOT for the evil flashback. You perfectly captured her malevolent ways. I have never had a “teacher” who honestly didn’t care if you did well, regardless of one’s effort. She tried to feed us the “this is how it is in college” line, but I never bought it. All of my Professors/instructors were available for questions and help, but she never was. I hated her for being a teacher. Other kids wished she would die. I couldn’t quite bring myself to wish that on anybody, but I freely admit to wishing she’d be in a horrible accident that would leave her in traction for the remainder of the school year. Ever notice that she was never gone? I specifically remember thinking that she never gave us the satisfaction of an occasional sub. I don’t think she was human.
If anybody thinks you are exaggerating, I would be happy to vouch for you. She gave me an F on the Captain’s Courageous quiz because I was absent the day the vid was shown in class. I thought my excuse was perfectly legitimate, but she didn’t seem to think that attending my father’s funeral was any excuse to miss that so-called symbolism. I was too shell-shocked to complain to my buddy (the vice principal), which I most certainly should have.
You should’ve tripped “her” on the way out of the store.
I wrote back to Ms. Tschuss and asked her if I could quote her in today’s entry, and she replied:
Absolutely – feel free.
If you asked ANYBODY from (our school) about her, they will say they hated her, or knew somebody that did (in case they were too dim to make the cut into her exclusive class.) It’s sad, really’
I challenge anyone to find a former student of hers with anything positive to say about her or her class. Or even anything ambivalent. Nope, she was universally hated. Maybe that’s what she was going for. A clean sweep in the People’s Antichrist Awards.
I guess I can see how some might think you’re exaggerating for effect, but honestly, you just can’t make this stuff up. And it’s not like you are some slouch who is blaming some certain flame-haired prison warden for your poor lot in life, as if she’d personally cheated you. I think any of her charges that have any measure of academic success in their lives have it in spite of her, certainly not because of her. I do not give her one iota of credit for who I am or what I learned and I don’t think you do either. She’s much better suited to be a dominatrix on some late night HBO special than a diabolical fiend disguised as a literary storehouse of knowledge. I just thought of this, she could probably fill in for the Weakest Link gal and nobody would ever notice.
Wow, that’s a lot of repressed anger! I’m a little dazed right now….
Actually, I think that Anne Robinson is a touch warmer than Ms. Mangoe. But that should put it into perspective. I’m not the only one with fourteen years of hatred for this woman.
She still teaches to this day. She has too much seniority to fire, I suspect. There is a bright side to this, however. Ms. Mangoe and her District Attorney husband did not, to our knowledge, reproduce. Or maybe she ate her young. Don’t know.
Ok, that was mean. Words like that make Baby Jesus cry. I’m so going to hell.
But at least I can recite ‘Leda and the Swan’ or give the rhyme patterns of Shakespearean and Petrarchan sonnets to Satan’s mistress, Ms. Mangoe.
We have more snow today.
The trees are all frosted and the roads are slippery. Today is the type of day best spent sitting in an overstuffed chair with a similarly overstuffed ottoman before a roaring fireplace with a good book and a mug of peppermint tea.
Hey. I could go to Barnes & Noble for lunch. They have all that stuff. But then I’d have to leave after an hour, which would blow all sorts of suck.
I have Hugh Grant’s hair today.
I just saw Mo in the hallway and she complimented me on my hair. I replied ‘I have Hugh Grant’s hair.’
She contemplated for a moment and then said ‘Yeah, it is kind of Hugh Granty.’
‘Great.’
‘Don’t feel bad,’ she continued. ‘While my hair was growing out, I looked like Fox Mulder. I had to wake up in the morning and see Fox Mulder looking out of the mirror at me. I kind of had a crush on him too.’
‘The truth is out there, Mo.’
She sneered and went out to smoke.
I have the urge to speak in a posh British accent all day. I suppose it’s better than having Keith Partridge hair.
Who am I kidding. Keith Partridge hair is WAY cooler than Hugh Grant hair.
I suppose I should look on the bright side. At least it’s not Ben Affleck hair.
Or (shudder)‘ Carson Daly hair.
The horror. The HORROR!!!!!
