If one person in a relationship thinks that there is an equitable distribution of housework, it means that the other person is getting royally fucked. Allow some estrogen-fueled harping for just a moment: I have been doing general house cleaning and picking up nearly every hour that I am home. Even yesterday, when I came […]
Once upon a time, there was a curvy round sexy girl. And she drove a white Monte Carlo. Which was also curvy and sexy. At least sexy to white trash Nascar wannabes who mate with their cousins and drink lots of Yoohoo mixed with Cr’me De Menthe. And this curvy round girl wasn’t a white […]
So cramps. I’ve got some miserable ones. Just wanted to share that. And what makes cramps feel better? A little needle stuck into the mouth, combined with some drilling into my teeth. Yup. Going to the dentist today. What is more, I’ve been told by various folks that caffeine makes novacaine and happy gas not […]
So this morning. I read Mechaieh’s Friday entry and one of her answers to the Friday Five questions was that she collects cancelled stamps. I don’t collect anything. Well, that’s not really true. I don’t officially collect anything. I have a number of black Hard Rock Cafe hats with white writing on them, but they […]
Wednesday, April 24, 2002
Weetabix’s Uterus: I’ve been told that I am too aggressive. I’ve been told that I operate on a very base level. Thus, I’ve reconsidered my methods and am trying a different approach. Attention all of you plebes and tools who read this here page, be advised’ I HAVE TAKEN IT HOSTAGE! IT WILL NOT RETURN […]
Sometimes I get an inferiority complex that this diary isn’t all deep and smoochie and stuff. I mean… boobs and farts. And cootchies, more recently. And the stupid ways I injure myself. Sometimes shopping. That’s this page in a nutshell. A big stinky boob-shaped walnut shell. I feel as though I should be writing writerly […]
It occurs to me that you might be wondering how I burned my tuvalee. So the weekend. Esteban and I decided to have a quiet evening at home on Friday night, replete with my new Clerks DVD and ordered in Chinese food. I ordered a shrimp egg roll and some steamed dumplings. Esteban ordered Sweet […]
Esteban: So’ can I use the word ‘cooter’ now? Weetabix: Absolutely not. Esteban: You used it this afternoon. You said ‘I burned my cooter!’ Weetabix: I only said it to make you laugh. Esteban: It was kind of funny. Weetabix: See? Esteban: But I don’t understand why’ Weetabix: Because it’s’ Esteban: Too ‘Dukes of Hazard’? […]
Esteban: So… can I use the word “cooter” now? Weetabix: Absolutely not. Esteban: You used it this afternoon. You said “I burned my cooter!” Weetabix: I only said it to make you laugh. Esteban: It was kind of funny. Weetabix: See? Esteban: But I don’t understand why— Weetabix: Because it’s… Esteban: Too “Dukes of Hazard”? […]
Oh my gosh, I have zero ambition today. Esteban and I had a hysterical pillow talk session last night but I’m feeling too lazy to type it all out and then format all of the bold parts. How pathetic is that? I think all of that html crap last night, uploading the Girl Golf pictures […]
