I have a new purse.
It’s very cute. It’s a basket really. I’ve always had latent Anne of Green Gables fantasies, I suppose. This one is lined with blue gingham and has a single little leather strap. It’s meant to be carried in a dainty fashion’ there’s no throwing over the shoulder with this little cutie.
I always have little purses. Even my big ass black leather winter purse is fairly small in comparison to the luggage that most women schlep around. I find that if I have a large purse, it just gets full of crap faster and then I’m lugging around a lot of crap all the time. Pishposh. I’m all about streamlining. Besides, it’s not like I’m going on a trek through the Andes or anything. Pretty much, I go into work, I leave work, I go to the grocery store, and then go home. And I leave my purse in the car (I know, I know).
The little basket purse is roughly 2 inches wide, 6 inches long and 6 inches high. Roughly the size of a personal CD player. I don’t carry all that much, really. In it I have: my driver’s license, a credit card, some cash (that all fits in the single little pocket), my key card for work, my asthma inhaler, my Slutty Ho lipstick, my Non-slutty work lipstick, a very small container of loose powder, two packages of Oral Care strips, a very small flat container with some Advil inside, and my car keys. I could fit more into it, but honestly, why. I do regret that my cellphone and my sunglasses do not fit in it when it is zipped, but it hasn’t bothered me terribly much.
I’ve been told that when I have children, this will change. Bah. My mother never carried but a stick of gum in her purse to amuse us. When I started to date Esteban, he’d often give me things to hold or to put in my purse, but I refused and still refuse. I don’t want his receipts in my purse! I don’t keep my OWN receipts in my purse, why would I want his?
I have friends who lug around gigantic grandma purses and they are nary 30 years old. I don’t understand this. Why are you carrying around the world with you? Isn’t that the point of leaving your house, to feel like you’ve actually left? Do you really need six pounds of loose change?
I don’t wear a watch either. When I’m at work, I have a clock on my computer. When I’m at home, I have clocks all over the house, and when I’m in the car, there is a lovely clock on my stereo. Where could I possibly go that they will refuse to tell me what time it is? And if I really get desperate, my cellphone has the time on its display. So there.
I’m not saying that my way is the right way. I’m just saying that it’s better.
Do your back a favor, girls, and get rid of all of that loose change in the bottom of your purse tonight. Your back will thank you. And use it to buy yourself something nice. Like maybe a new car?
If I didn’t have that GD inhaler, I’d be carrying around my crap in a cinnamon Altoids tin, I think. Just duct tape a strap on that bad boy and I’d be all set.
Although I still think that having a cute little burro to carry around all my crap would be nice. Or, as someone suggested a long time ago, maybe a holster. Yeah. A holster would be sweet.
