I have all of this other writing to do today, a Quoted update to post, and in fact, I even have ‘You’ve Got Mail’ on pause in the living room, but instead, I’m drawn to this page. I’ve been thinking about bodies again, body shape, my body, the bodies of other folks. In last week’s Buffy, I was disturbed to see how thin Anya is getting. Perhaps because she is in movies now and realizing that her days of playing a 20-year-old thousand year old demon are numbered.
My weight loss has lessened during the winter. I’m guessing because I am not swimming three times a week nor am I going for my 6 am walks anymore. But still, I had a rather momentous occasion in Lane Bryant this weekend, wherein I tried on a pair of jeans that by rights should have been far too small and they were not, in fact, too small. In fact, they just fit. And when I put my Hottie Jeans back on, I realized how loose they really were, how baggy, how they sort of drooped around the sides. Still can’t get into the ‘small’ jeans, though, although I could wear them without a problem if it weren’t for the slight technicality of actually zipping them. And the shirts I had purchased at Torrid that were by rights too clingy to wear without a hoodie are now just right. Although Esteban still feels that they are too clingy, as he occasionally has flashes of Cro-Magnonesque Male Own Woman Syndrome.
I bought the jeans. You know I bought the jeans. I don’t even have to tell you that, right? Because if you put on a pair of jeans in a size you haven’t seen in more than six years, you would immediately buy them too. And then I celebrated by going to Godiva and buying a $40 box of chocolates. Hey. Don’t look at me that way. They were 50% off because they had Valentines decorations on them.
And it’s not that I’ve necessarily lost so much weight or even that I intend to keep losing more. It seems to be sliding off somehow. I’m not necessarily TRYING very hard. I drink a lot of Dasani. For breakfast, I eat the Special K with the hunks of dehydrated strawberries in them. And yesterday, I ate the entire top tray of that box of chocolate (FYI: $40 of Godiva chocolate is NOT a lot of chocolate)
Sometimes I look over to the mirror that I can see from this keyboard. It’s a fifty-year-old door mirror that came with the house and is terribly warped. And I will bob my head, pushing my reflection over the distortions, looking for the fat me and the skinny me. And I never see either of them. It’s always just me looking back. I think I’ve been waiting for some incredible day when I’ll look into the mirror and say ‘Well, THERE you are! I’ve missed you!’ but I’m starting to realize that I never really went anywhere. I’ve been here all along.
Perhaps it’s all a part of getting older. Or getting wiser. Or getting more stupid. But at least I’ve learned one lesson.
Life is too short to eat sub par chocolate.
Holy poop!
Someone (or someones) nominated me for a Diarist award and I’m now in the Finalist round! Or actually, three Diarist awards, or two awards plus one for Chauffi’s Guest Entry. I’m totally ecstatic! I wooted so loudly this morning that Esteban heard me from his shower and thought that I saw a bug or possibly a dismembered foot.
Congratulations to my extremely talented co-nominees: Trance Jen and Shelley Anne in the Best Journal Overall category, Redhairedgirl and Discount Satori in the Outstanding Entry category, and CosmiCrayola in the Guest Entry category.
I guess I’ll get to schmooze with them at the awards ceremony. Is it true that they’re getting Greg Kinnear to host? I don’t know. I’m all new at this. I’ve been tuned to E! for the nomination announcements but I haven’t seen anything. And what will I do if I see Joan and Melissa on the red carpet pre-show? Should I schmooze them or smack them? And what am I going to wear? Oh, the possibilities!!!
Thank you! I’m so very honored. You have no idea how great it is to be nominated! Make sure to check out the excellent writing and vote for your favorites.
