Mangus gave me an early birthday present. Damn, he’s good. He’s the best gay boyfriend EVER. Especially to give me such a sexilicious body like that. Heeee! It makes me giggle every time I look at it.
Saturday night, Penny, Carissa and I embarked on our much anticipated road trip to see the live action revival of Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was pretty stoked. So stoked that I actually IRONED my ensemble. If you’ve never been to a midnight showing of Rocky Horror, the norm is to dress a little, er, racy, if not in actual costumes emulating the characters. I chose a sort of Catholic School Girl look, with black/white plaid skirt, black tights, black loafers, white button down French-cuffed shirt, open too far, rhinestone kitty collar, and funkified hair and makeup, which I then accessorized with my leather DKNY backpack tote and a cherry Charm Pop. If the look could be described in one word, that word would be ‘Meow.’
Then I demanded that Penny discard her chosen outfit and wear her black leather pants and lace-up sexy pirate shirt from the Hootchie Mama store. Cari, on the other hand, pled out with the hotness and opted to gather the Rocky props instead (rice, toast, newspaper, what have you.)
We drove down, talking about sex the entire way, as always seems to happen. I learned also that apparently I drive like a homicidal maniac. C’est la vie. We got to Milwaukee around 9 pm and proceeded downtown to find Ed Debevic’s, hoping to cozy up to the adorable waiter Nickels who looks like the Verizon Guy, but to our dismay, the restaurant was not where we thought it was. I hauled out my cellphone and called information. They told us the address and Carissa continued to hold to call the restaurant in case I couldn’t find it by the address. Number has been disconnected? I drove past where we thought it was’. Gone, all gone. Looking sad and shadowy and deserted. First the Hootchie Mama store downtown and now Ed’s! The world is a cruel place.
Instead, I offered that we could go to Brady Street, where there were ample excellent restaurants to be had and it was fairly near the theatre. We opted for Mimma’s, a restaurant I’ve visited in the past with excellent results. Mimma herself brought us to our table. Our waiter, Eric, was delightful, the right mix of flirty and fun and professional. The people at the next table were oozing pretension and we entertained ourselves by making fun of them. ‘Darling, you’ll never guess who called me yesterday’. Donatella Versace called me. You see, she’s had her uterus removed and is in the process of gilding it with gold. Then she’ll make a purse out of it and Gwynnie is going to carry it to the Oscars. I’m certain that it is just to DIE for’ sniff.’ By the time we made it through the first basket of bread, we had an entire story constructed in which Carissa’s jeans are the legacy of Gianni Versace, taken from drawings found in his bloodied hands, and I was investigating timeshares on Pluto because the moon was really getting filled with Euro Trash and the nouveau riche. Then I began to suspect that the patrons at the next table really WERE some kind of bigwigs, perhaps musicians or artists, or maybe even Keith Richards. They were 50-year-old Boomers wearing leather pants with blazers. I don’t know why, but that made it even more funny, darling.
For dinner, I got a shrimp and cannelloni bean appetizer (Gamberi alle Toscana) and a tomato/basil salad (Capricciossa). Carissa got something with red ravioli. Penny was having a hard time with the menu/book, so Eric recommended that Penny try something that had proscuitto, peas, and a cream sauce (I suspect that it was Tortelloni con Prosciutto e Piselli). We all should have asked Eric’s opinion, because Penny’s dish was like a mouth orgasm. We each ended up eating off each others plates and left the restaurant completely sated, but only after Carissa made friends with the people hanging out in the bar, because that’s Carissa’s secret superpower.
After dinner, around 11:20 pm, we headed to the Oriental. Rocky Horror was not on the marquee. Carissa jumped out of the car and inquired on the status of the movie. It was then that we learned that the schedule online was wrong. And that I sucked because I did not call and double check that they were indeed doing the Rocky Horror thing that night. So I drive like a maniac and I don’t double check and kill a Saturday night making a four hour road trip for nothing.
But at least I looked fucking adorable. And really, how much more can you ask of me?
My computer at home has crashed. Hard. Apparently it blew up a power supply and a main board, which is ridiculous because if you’ll remember, I just bought the new computer last Octoberish. I was beside myself all day Sunday. I kept trying not to panic, reminding myself that I had Netflixs to watch, actual physical hobbies that I could do. No reason to think about the email that I was missing. Or the games. Or the writing. Or the surfing. Or the’ gah. I tried to put the lack of computer out of my mind, but all throughout the day, there was this constant running dialogue inside my head, ‘I wonder if Alton Brown is married? I should go check. Arrgh, but I can’t.’ ‘This music’ this music is from what movie’. I know, IMDBDotCom’ but I can’t.’ ‘Did Chauffi reply to my email’but the world will never know’ arrrgh.’ ‘I should go research hotels for next Monday in Milwaukee’. But I am stuck in the fucking dark ages.’ ‘I should pay the phone bill through their site’ arrrrrgh!’ It was so frustrating.
By the way, I am totally crushing hard on Alton Brown. The guy from Food 911? Forgotten. Jamie Oliver? Actually, I never had a thing for Jamie Oliver, but I suspect Esteban does. Alton is my new Thomas Dolby food boyfriend.
You know, I always have a thing for unusual men. Penn Jillette, the Verizon Guy, Dave Matthews. Even Starbucks Guy wasn’t exactly Brad Pitt. And if you look at the guys I had real life crushes on in school (I always had a real life crush going on in tandem with a celebrity crush)’. Seventh grade was an adorable little geek boy, ninth grade was an honors student who wore glasses, tenth grade was a more traditional jock in my phys.ed class, but then in eleventh grade, it was Chuck, a newspaper dork who reminded me of Lloyd Dobbler. But it doesn’t even stop there. I spent two years completely in love with Peter Venckman, the Bill Murray character from Ghostbusters. And not just the live action one’ I would watch the Ghostbusters cartoon and get all squizzy inside for the CARTOON Peter Venckman, whom I believe was voiced by Dave Coulier. And that’s just wrong, getting turned on by Dave Coulier.
So, yeah, Alton Brown. That receding hairline, those glasses, his whole ‘can do’ attitude? Grrowwl. I mean, he freezes strawberries with freaking dry ice, you think he’s going to be satisfied with the missionary? Yeah. I’m just saying.
I’m probably oversexed. Strangely enough, there are no complaints from Esteban.
The people on the notify list have known about this for MONTHS (It is good to be notified) but I’m going to San Francisco again next week as a birthday present to myself. And because airfare was only $143. One hundred and forty three dollars. Damn. I spend that at the Prescriptives counter, I simply could not pass that up.
Esteban, however, is passing again. Because he’s a Burgermeister. But I’m stoked. STOKED! Monique! Jenfu! And now Eloi! And shopping! And shoes! And really good seafood! And crazy karaoke! And more futhamucking hills! Ok, that part sucks, but still. Yay! Vacation!
Have you written your Be Weetabix For a Day entry yet? Come on. You know it’s not hard.
