Final Entry in the Be Weetabix For A Day challenge…
Dear Diary:
Operation Takeover of the Humans’ Territory is a smashing success, thanks to the aid of the humans’ feline counterpart (code name Tilly) and another human (code name Golf Widow) who was kind enough to provide us with a computer (and appropriate accessories; see image at left) as well a link to this diary, which is a great source of amusement to us all, as the human who normally authors this journal has not only freely admitted her stark fear of us, but, in her folly, has also, in this entry, gone so far as to recommend bait for the homemade people trap we built in the basement!
Golf Widow thoughtfully sacrificed her credit card to the cause and we were able to stock the trap with the necessary shiny laptop and a complete DKNY plus-sized wardrobe. Also, on the advice of Tilly, we added two dozen dayam! bras in assorted colors, a pair of really kickass boots, and a gift certificate for a year’s supply of Starbucks coffee.
There has been a setback of sorts, in that Tilly is now insisting we may only trap the human temporarily, as she is Tilly’s only source of sustenance. We shall almost certainly be obligated to concede, as Tilly was looking at us quite hungrily when she said this, and if the human is not able to provide food for her, we may wind up feeding her by default … which would be most unsatisfactory, not to mention detrimental to our respective wellbeings. However, Tilly has been reasonable to date and we take her at her word that she will not consume us if the human gives her alternate nourishment; so the Great Operation will most likely be modified to allow for the release of the human within a day or so, or when Tilly’s mews of hunger become too piteous for us to bear, whichever comes first.
On the other hand, Golf Widow has requested nothing in return for her assistance except for a link back from this journal to her own.
She would accept no other suggestions from us. She claims that her breasts are already impressive, her hair already curly, and her laptop still shiny and mostly-new, although she’s had it for nearly a year now.
“I am an attention whore,” she said, “and I want the attention and adoration of the hundreds of Weetabix fans, even if only for one day.”
When pressed, she did admit that she wouldn’t mind a link back from Marn‘s journal as well, but she could live without it if absolutely necessary.
Thus it stands: We currently have control over the house and the diary, but will need to relinquish it shortly. We may also need to evacuate, as the cheese situation, for a home in the central portion of the nation, is rather pathetic.
Mouse Attack 2003 signing off.
