Is anyone else afraid for Renee Zellweger? Last time she quote packed on the poundage unquote for Bridget Jones, she went insane losing the weight after filming and ended up a shadow of her former self. So this time, she had to gain even more to get back to Bridge’s fighting weight, thus, I fear that when she frantically loses weight again, will she simply pop out of existence? Or become see-through? Perhaps we should employ an emergency SWAT team to stand by with intravenous doses of Twinkie filling.
Someone should get on that.
I was also going to suggest they keep an eye on Lara Flynn Boyle, but then I realized, nah, let that bitch turn into a Charm Pop.
I think I have exorcised the Republican demons from my Chrysler 300M. I thought I would have to sacrifice my Birkenstocks or my ratty tie-dyed t-shirt from an outdoor festival in 1988, but apparently, the answer was a combination of a venti Sbux double mocha, excessive and illegal speeds, an open sunroof, and Jane’s Addiction played at levels which OSHA has deemed harmful without proper hearing protection. We understand each other, the 300M and I. And I have Perry Farrell to thank for it. Along with everything else in the world. Because the barking dogs at the beginning of “Been Caught Stealing” are better than cocaine, baby.
You know what else? I don’t think the Pixies have ever done anything wrong in their lives. I love me some Pixies. It occurred to me driving home from school on Tuesday night that I’m 32 years old and I’m still listening to a lot of the same music I was when I was 17. I don’t know what that means. I would hope that I’m not stagnating. I mean, I’m in love with Coldplay and the Beyonce and I listen to Dave Matthews so much that I’m starting to wonder if I’m pregnant with his baby. And I’m starring with Aqua and DJ Sammy in an x-rated movie set in a women’s prison. But even though I’ve listened to The Cure’s “Just Like Heaven” more times than there are bad goth diaries on Diaryland, it just never gets old. It just keeps making me happy. And I have “One More Time” queued up on my computer at home and when I listen to it, I’m 16 and Ferris Bueller has just asked me to slow dance with him in front of the whole school.
I hope the early alternative music doesn’t turn into Classic Rock and Michael Stipe is never Eric Clapton and Erasure isn’t Bad Company. Because I just don’t know if I could take it.
It’s crazy cold here, easily 20 degrees below the seasonal norm. It was 30 degrees when I went out to start my car this morning. There was frost a quarter inch thick on the windshield. It snowed yesterday off and on. Just let that sink in for a moment. Snow.
And unfortunately, it doesn’t look as though there’s signs of an indian summer any time soon. The trees are even surprised with this turn of events and are now rushing to quickly turn colors. I think we do some funky thing with the clock some time this month too, and I really hate Daylight Saving bullshit. Hate it. With the fire of a thousand suns. But we’ve discussed this before.
Esteban and I are heading to Minneapolis tomorrow to have dinner with the Win A Date With Weetabix contest winners, K.Lo and AKKelly. Also, we’re going to visit one of the graduate programs there and maybe I’ll charm them in person and they will not allow me to leave and cling to my leg and weep “Stay, stay, you must stay here in our fully funded program with tuition reciprocity and ample student teaching opportunities! Stay, we beg of you, stay!” And then I will kiss each of them on their noses and throw coins at them from the window of my car as I bid them adieu.
Uh huh. That’s what is going to happen.
I also foresee much shopping and very possibly a strained right bicep from overextending my Charge-It muscle, until Esteban drags me away from the mall and there is the sound of a thousand retailers crying out in the darkness. So, a good weekend, all around. I’m stoked. And also, maybe by the time we come back, the next ice age will have begun and my work will have been swept away by a glacier. Yeah. Glaciers rock.
Yay! It’s 12%’s Birthday!
Today’s random journal link was taken from the list of people who have 12% Beer on their buddy list.
Aw fuck.
I knew there was a reason I didn’t vote for Doyle. I voted Green party.
For the record, the Green Party has issued a public statement that they did not in any way support the purchase of my car and urged me to by a Prius. But it wasn’t all pretty-shiny-fast-warmbottom-pretty so I didn’t. They’ve also asked me to allow my subscription to Utne Reader to expire and to stop shopping at Whole Foods. Picky bastards.
