I am so very tired today. Seriously, y’all, I’m not even kidding. I am fantasizing about working somewhere in a large city because chances are that I could walk down the street from my building, wander into a Starbucks and then mainline espresso until my head stops weighing four hundred pounds. Forget dark circles under my eyes, I have simply blackened empty eye sockets. My damned teeth are tired. How sad is that? Tooth-tired?
I was on Amazon looking for a Wusthof knife and saw a corkscrew, except I thought it was a cockscrew and found it rather presumptuous indeed, although I was rather intrigued. If one should have a cockscrew, I would much rather have one sanctioned by Williams & Sonoma rather than some every day cockscrew. I’ll bet that if Wusthof did not make cockscrews, then the yuppies and Martha Stewart would never see any action at all.
Oh yeah, the tired. It is, of course, the fault of the mickey fickey Lord of the Rings. Ok, it is really my fault because I married a science fiction geek. Or, as Esteban might say, cleverly trying to deflect the blame, I am a Ren Faire geek cleverly disguised as a cool person. Although, even with my blatant elfwanking, I would not normally have participated in the madness that is an evening showing of a three and a half bazillion hour movie on a work night. Because it is almost the darkest day of the year and my body is telling me that I should be asleep by about two thirty in the afternoon, therefore eight o’clock (cock) feels like midnight and by the time we had saved the Shire and ensured everything would be good in Middle Earth forever and ever and ever, I was fighting off an impending coma. Even now, my head, she is so large and heavy. And the clock, she is so slow.
That having been said, aside from the fact that there was not nearly enough Weaving (there is never enough Weaving in my mind), the movie was very enjoyable. My tummy is now regretting my choice of dinner last night (popcorn and Whoppers), and demanded a fast food lunch today. Perhaps it became confused by the fatigue and thinks it is the Morning After The Bad Bar. It lobbied for a Big Mac and fries but I countered with the option of an Arby’s Roast Beef and Diet Coke (80 Gallon Drum size). We then went through an arduous mediation, which included contract riders demanding soft pretzels with plastic yellow cheese, and finally compromised on a bean burrito and a small bag of nachos with said plastic yellow cheese. I would here make mention that if one is very tired, so tired in fact that they are constantly fighting an impending headache, one should maintain a diet of soft foods, preferably things that have been pulsed several times in a blender. One should not chomp upon extra-crunchy tortilla chips, as each and every crunch will echo like tympanis inside one’s fragile noggin, which, for the purpose of this demonstration, has had the protective skull removed and is comprised of one gigantic baby’s soft spot. Watch now as she falls asleep on her desk and her head flattens out like a water balloon!
As;odkjq3a;eoijga;ohgaoehgoarewi /;
Aqresogijeb
Erbpoiejfrbtpoob2jug
;kkjiooioilijjoij
Ouch.
Heh heh heh. My head typed “poo”.
Yup, this diary is worth every penny.
This right here? The only time that the concept of the death penalty has ever seemed reasonable to me.
Seriously, y’all, my teeth are TIRED!
And now for something that isn’t completely stupid: The AFA set up a poll so that their members could vote against Same Sex Marriages. Their intent was to go to congress and show them that Americans are inherently against gay marriages. The pesky little thing about the Internet is that usually ANYONE can get to something and you can’t keep one group of people from accessing something like a poll (unless you password protect it or whatnot, which would I suspect have defeated their purpose of having an open poll) and when people who were not right-wing nut jobs found out about it, word got around. I guess the poll started out at about 4% FOR legalizing same sex marriages and the rest Against. After I voted, it’s at about 41% in favor of legalizing same sex marriages, with another 6% in favor of a civil union that did not allow the adaption of a spouse’s name (which, I might add, is a dumb distinction, because I believe anyone can have their name changed for any reason. There’s a woman here who legally had her name changed to Michael Jackson about fifteen years ago… hmmm, I wonder what she goes by now?)Here’s the thing… no matter how you feel about homosexual sex and love and general snuggle-bunnies, one thing is for certain: it’s going to happen whether you want it to or not. Preventing gay marriages does not protect the sanctity of marriage in the least, just like preventing black people or women from voting didn’t protect the sanctity of the democratic process. If you think your marriage is in danger, it certainly isn’t because David and Steven want to get married legally. Perhaps you should start spending some time loving your spouse instead of worrying about other people like some Gladys Kravitz. If you want to vote yourself, you can go here. (Thanks for the link, La Wade!)
