Every December 31, I take a quick review of the last 364 days. The recaps of the last four years are here and here and here and here.
I made one trip to the emergency room, had two MRI’s, and three rounds of physical therapy. I am thankful every day that I have really good medical insurance.
I made another attempt at graduate school. I got accepted. I decided that the journey is just as important as the destination. I declined the offer. I wrote a letter and got my heart broken. I decided that one person’s opinion didn’t matter, regardless of how many letters they had behind their name. I took a different class and enjoyed every minute and added another A to my transcript.
I got naked at a spa. I showed off the cleavage. I spent a mint at Torrid. I swore off Krispy Kremes because I realized that I was stronger than a fucking doughnut. I refused to back down in situations where I normally would have been shy or apologetic. I remind myself on a daily basis that I am normal and beautiful and worth everything in the world.
I lost my step-grandfather. I not only talked to but also hugged my stepfather for the first time in twenty years.
I got a new kitchen floor, new windows, and new light fixtures. I had the doors painted and replaced all the base trim with four inch Victorian. The hideous blonde paneled walls and yellowed tile ceiling have been ripped down in my future office and replaced with lovely real walls painted a beautiful shade of periwinkle. I painted my front door red.
I sat in the balcony of an ancient theatre watching men in Converse shoes recite Shakespeare. I sat in the mezzanine and watched ornate ladies sing opera. I sat in the eleventh row, entranced by bishops wearing red coats riding flying horses. I sat a little too near the stage and watched blue men regurgitate Twinkies.
I fell in love with a Kate Spade bag but wouldn’t commit. I pined over it for months and then finally took the plunge. I am learning to better recognize and trust my instincts and spoil my inner diva. There’s no going back.
I reconnected with long distance friends. I missed the ones I didn’t get to see and vowed to see them soon. I miss them every day.
I visited the big cherry in Minneapolis and the wheel of meat in Chicago. I had high tea in London and a double double in Vegas. I saw the Hope Diamond, Mr. Roger’s sweater and the original Star Spangled Banner in the same hour. I had my very first luxury transatlantic flight, which was totally worth it.
I listened to Richard Marx and Edwin McCain telling stories about the songs that were the soundtrack to my teenage years. I shook my ass in the fortieth row while the Bodeans played the soundtrack to my early twenties. I’m still compiling the massive soundtrack for right now.
I sent out a bunch of submissions and received a bunch of No Thank Yous, along with some really incredible personal letters from a few journals I very much admire. I revised several short stories that truly needed revision. I made a commitment to at least begin work on a novel in 2005. I started freelancing and got the thrill of seeing my name on a masthead. I remembered why I got an English degree and that my goal in life was not to explain marketing data to people who should know better.
I got to spend almost every single day with my best friend in the entire world.
I elevated the drunken dancing at the Bad Bar with intricate choreography. I watched drag queens do it a hundred times better. And then I got really drunk in a food court.
I embraced technology. I eschewed my giant tube monitor for an anorexic flat panel. I ditched my old digital and got a sleek little titanium super spy camera. I initiated the upgrade to High Definition TV and fully understand the iLove. Next step: new cell phone and taking the final step by replacing my Canon SLR with its digital counterpart.
I took pictures, made silly little movies and drunken phone calls. I played roulette, rode the Tube, sat in a hot tub, and helped one of my friends get married. I told people that I loved them, told other people that I didn’t, and used the US Postal System more than ever. I laughed, cried, danced, wrote, swam, bet on camel races, and drank more vodka than was really advisable.
And you can’t do better than that, but I’m sure going to try. Starting tomorrow.
