I spent the entirety of the weekend doing as much nothing as I could possibly muster. That was sort of a novelty for me, as I specifically avoided planning anything, having been fantasizing about unending stretches of slacker time. However, the entire time, I was bothered by the niggling feeling that I should be doing something, however, I didn’t care enough to do anything. So instead, the answer was to wander around the house, trying to muster anything but apathy.
I did manage to change the shower curtain (again!) because the one I bought a month ago wasn’t waterproof either, so now I’ve just given up and put a clear vinyl liner between the supposedly waterproof fabric interior curtain and the ivory damask exterior curtain. Why can’t I just ditch the interior fabric curtain if it’s completely useless? Because I find the prospect of cold wet vinyl shimmying up against my naked skin very unappealing, that’s why. However, I notice now that the three-layered shower curtain (curtains? Actually, it’s become more of a ‘showering system’ now) has a rather formidable weight to it, like the fabric of industrial strength girdles. It is weighty like the big red velvet curtain in our high school theatre and when I pull it aside, I half-expect to hear grudging applause.
I also made some chicken wild rice soup, which will undoubtedly be summarily snubbed by my ungrateful spouse. It’s really good though. Had the pot not cooled down after I finished my first bowl, I certainly would have gorged myself on rice and carrots and Smart Chicken.
I find it funny that meat has a brand name, and even more funny that it is labeled ‘Smart’. Apparently, it means that the chicken was vegetarian and not pumped up with hormones or whatnot. Whatever, but it does definitely taste better. Maybe I’ve just bought into the marketing and it’s just the added smug factor.
Due to the apathy, I spent most of the weekend indoors, which was actually a shame because the weather wasn’t terribly oppressive (mid-twenties and low thirties) and it wouldn’t have been horrible to be out and about (say, the arctic blasts of sub zero temperatures in which you actually tear up because it hurts to breathe but then the tears freeze before they fall off your face, like some horrible metaphor for a nature that is uncaring, although a tad more obvious than Melville’s great white whale. Total non sequiter, I know, but I watched a documentary about the events that inspired the book, so I’m all about the whaling yore right now and it’s even maybe inspiring me to add Moby Dick to my Classics To Read list for 2005, since I have a vacancy after finishing Slaughterhouse Five. Although, remembering the problems my peers had with the book, maybe I am also insane.
Also, I must mention here that I restored my sleep deficit over the weekend, clocking an average of twelve hours a night, so it’s probably the well-rested brain talking. When I am cranky and muddle-headed, I’ll probably be all ‘Bite me, Queequeg’ and ‘Mmm’. Starbucks’.)
(Mmmm’ Starbucks.)
Speaking of that, sometime this weekend, Esteban and I found ourselves on the far side of Appleton where we noticed that there is a vast disparity of Stores in Green Bay versus Stores in Appleton. For instance, they have two locations of the great little burrito place while we have but one. Also, they have two Gordman’s, while we have nary a single Gordman. But the ultimate insult is when I realized that they had THREE Starbucks, while we have our tiny little single Starbuck. Three! Need I mention that Green Bay is probably three times the size of Appleton? Sure, twenty years ago when the mall people came to our town and said ‘Hey, what do you think about us building a giant mall out in the suburbs’ and we chortled and said ‘We just destroyed our charming downtown to build a shortsighted awkward mall that people will certainly use forever and ever! FIE on your giant suburb mall with the free parking!’ and then the little town of Grand Chute, which was really just a mole on Appleton’s ass, said ‘Um, please sir, we’ll take your giant mall if we can put it out in the middle of nowhere.’ And the giant mall people said, ‘Boys, you got yourself a mall.’ And then went back to counting money and eating pork rinds. Which is how I imagine that immeasurably wealthy important people wile away the hours of their pampered veal calf lives.
So now, the universe is unbalanced wherein the Appleton area, with its population of 190,000 has three opportunities for caffeinated steamy goodness, while the Green Bay area, with its conglomeration of over 210,000 yuppies and yuppie wannabes (ok, I was exaggerating, Green Bay is not quite three times the size of Appleton, but still, way bigger, yes?), has but one location to quench our thirst for tasty frappuchinos.
I tell you this here because when I tried to express my outrage at the unfairness of Starbuck’s omnipresence (or lack thereof), Esteban took the opportunity to lecture me on what he feels should be our shared hatred of corporate giants (see also: McDonalds, aka Great Satan of Hamburgers, and Wal-Mart, aka The Evil Empire), and I was not in the mood to hear it. However, I pointed out that I would happily patronize another coffee magnate if one chose to settle near my employer, especially if said coffee establishment were a Caribou Coffee, whose Ho-Ho-Mocha makes me have mouth pleasure and whose baristas have taken coffee flirting to a delicate art form and always make me blush by the time I’ve left the store. But there’s just no reasoning with Esteban once he’s gotten up on his high horse and the origin of my pouting was completely lost, but now that I’ve gotten it off of my chest, I’m feeling much better.
So yeah. Stupid coffee people.
