Esteban : December can’t get here soon enough. I am looking forward to trimming the Beard of Justice.
Weetabix : Is everyone going to take a picture? Of all the justice?
Esteban : Yes. Actually, you are going to help me with that. There are no Self Portraits of Justice.
Weetabix : You could do a MySpace angle.
Esteban : I don’t know how I feel about that. Is that… um… like genitalia or something?
Weetabix : MySpace angles just mean the photo is taken from above so that you don’t have a double chin and your eyes get all big due to the shift in perspect—nevermind, boring photography dork stuff. Although…your beard is starting to look a little pubic.
Esteban : My pubes don’t have all this grey. Wait, do they?
Weetabix : Maybe we could sculpt you a little penis figure to stick out of the thatch. Like, make it out of stuffed pantyhose or something.
Esteban : A penis on my chin? I don’t want guys to think I’m making a suggestion or anything.
Weetabix : No, it wouldn’t be something that looked suggestive. It would have to be very small so that it didn’t look weird. Like, a quarter-sized penis and balls.
Esteban : I would have thought you’d suggest a vagina. It would be so much easier to do on a face.
Weetabix : Oh, you’re right! We could do that with Femo! Maybe your mom could help. She’s good at sculpting.
Esteban : We are not going to call my mom and ask her to help us sculpt tiny genitals to place on my Beard of Justice!
Weetabix : Maybe you could have both kinds? One on either side! Oh my god, this is totally a craft project. I wonder if you could do the veins with the stuffed pantyhose, though? Maybe that would have to be Femo too.
Esteban : You will not make the Beard of Justice a hermaphrodite.
Weetabix : Come on, we never get to do craft projects together! It could be like StuffOnmycat.com, except it would be Junkonmybeard.com. Actually, I’ll totally bet that hermaphroditicbeard.com hasn’t been registered yet!
Esteban : One can only guess.
