Thank you very much for all of your condolences. Your comments and personal e-mails have touched and comforted me more than you can possibly know. I’m trying to respond to the e-mails individually, but it’s still pretty difficult to think about too much. Please know, however, that it is times like this where I am just blown away by how fortunate I am to have such an amazing well of support.
I’m in a foul mood today. Well, every day, pretty much, for the last ten, but instead of sadness today, it’s mostly just apathy and irritation. How can one be irritated AND not caring at the same time? I’m not entirely certain, and yet, there it is.
The last week has been, well, really fucking hard. Like, astonishingly so. Esteban remarked early last week that he’d like to get through a day without a crying episode, and I replied that I’d be lucky if I did have a day where I ONLY cried one time. Hell, even if we get the “tearing up” down into the single digits, I’d be impressed. I cried when I found a pile of cat puke in the basement and can’t even let myself think about the more salient aspects of Tilly because it is simple too painful. I don’t remember it being this horrible with Chelsea. However, I can honestly see that I have gotten over some kind of hump, at very least, late last week. I had been anticipating how I’d feel when the vet sent the paw print. Last time, it was kind of an unexpected gut punch, and while I definitely cried when I opened it, it wasn’t quite as bad as I thought. However, I was stupid and didn’t hide this one the way that I did Chelsea’s, and Esteban got the gut punch instead. I think it wasn’t so bad because I know that there’s another shoe that’s waiting to drop: her ashes. Esteban was handling the arrangements with the vet this time, but I managed to get my voice to insist on getting her ashes. I need her back with me, I think. I don’t know if that’s healthy, but right now, it’s all I have.
I’m trying my damnedest to look forward. One of the interesting lessons has been the people who have shown kindness and support, reaching out to me even though I was not easily accessible (some other stuff was here, but I edited it out because I’m no longer feeling as uncharitable). The thing with mourning is that it really doesn’t take much of oneself to give comfort: a nice handwritten note, a phone call where someone is just checking in, etc. It’s one of the few things in life where a little effort has huge karmic dividends.
Ok, enough with the Poor Me. That will be the last public airing of Tilly-related grief on this blog.
In other news, there are several major things stirring in the Weetabix Universe!
First of all, it’s that time of year again: the Holiday Card Exchange! This will be the EIGHTH year of our Annual Holiday Card Exchange and we’ve had so many people come back to participate each year. How fun to get cards from all over the world and have a mailbox full of colorful envelopes instead of bills and sale flyers! In the last few years, every single day I went to the mailbox during the holiday season, there was a fun something waiting for me from one of you. Sometimes many fun things! Did I mention that it was fun?
The Holiday Card exchange has gotten very popular and I understand that there are many demands on your time during the end of the year. I have traditionally split it into two different lists, each containing no more than 40 names. This way, it’s not a huge time and money commitment, but you still get a wealth of holiday cheer throughout the holidays. However, if you really enjoy filling out and receiving holiday cheer, then you (like me) can opt to be on BOTH lists.
You need not be a resident of the US to participate. In past years, we’ve had folks sending cards from and to Canada, the UK, Holland, Australia, Japan, Germany and France. I try to evenly distribute those addresses between the lists so that one list isn’t socked with a ton of foreign postage, but since Canada seems to be the most common non-US origination, I try to put those folks on one list to give them a break too.
As in past years, if you’re a Holiday Card Exchange veteran, instead of a standard holiday card, I’m going to send you a 2008 Holiday Weetamix CD. Just my little effort at spreading holiday cheer! FYI: any participants in any of the exchanges are considered Veterans.
Interested? Ok, here’s how it works. You send me an e-mail with Holiday Card Exchange in the subject line. Instead of sending me all of your information and risking the chance of me balling it up (as I did in a MAJOR WAY last year), I will instead give you access to a Google Docs spreadsheet. You will have until November 15th to add your information to the spreadsheet. On that day, I will lock the spreadsheet for editing and ask you to take one last look at your address to make sure that all is well. Then, if necessary, I will split it into two lists, and send out a notice to all participants that the list is perfect and you are ready to start sending. Then you start licking and sticking and stamping and addressing and then you sit back and wait for the wealth of holiday cheer to fill your mailbox. Typically, folks start sending out cards the next day (because they are awesomely prepared), so you’re almost assured to have great mail every day in December! Easy peasy, right?
I’ll reply back with a confirmation that I received your e-mail. If I don’t respond within 24 hours, that probably means that my very vicious spam catcher grabbed your e-mail, and leave me a comment on the website to let me know.
Send your email to weetabix and then the @ followed by Gmail Dot Com. Just so that I don’t delete your email by accident, please make the subject line something like “Holiday Card Exchange” or “Hey, Stupid Girl, Don’t Delete This!”
The cutoff to get your name in for the Holiday Card Exchange is November 16 at midnight OR when the exchange has 80 spots filled, whichever comes first.
Second exciting thing: I’m going to be in Chicago this weekend, along with my best and bravest friends for our annual Tarts & Vicars celebration. Are you in Chicago this weekend too? Want to hook up? Shoot me an e-mail and we can make that happen.
Third exciting thing: the date has been set for the Fifth Annual Green Bay Minicon! That’s right: get it on your calendar and request your vacation time, because on March 6-8th, 2009, the hottest and most fun people on the planet are going to descend upon the sleepy little burg of Green Bay to do some major debauchery. Want to be in on the action? E-mail me for deets. And I promise you: we don’t bite. Unless you beg for it.
