That's My Bix!

I have been heads down in the penultimate semester of my doctoral studies — well, maybe it’s the penultimate semester but more on that in a bit. I did a few things that are kind of counter-intuitive, and if you know me, probably kind of self-damaging. First, for creative writing dissertations, the generally approved plan of coursework is that you spend your first two years (or four-ish semesters) getting your literary studies coursework done, and then you spend your final year working on “Doctoral Studies” which means you register for a basic number of credits that are kind of like an independent study, during which time you are supposed to be working on your dissertation and also reading/studying for your comps test. Additionally, my doctoral funding for the first two years meant that I taught one class and worked as a senior editor on a literary journal for the other half of the funding. Because the literary journal work isn’t really a reasonable/easy to define amount of work (in theory, it’s supposed to be ten hours a week — in reality, it’s anywhere from 15-40 hours a week, and then all summer long too). Then in the third/final year, typically doctoral candidates are doing so much with their studying and dissertation prep that they don’t have time for literary journal stuff, so they are relieved of that and teach a second class each semester of the third year.

So, that’s the easy way, right? You know what way I took?

Not that way. Because of COURSE. You know me, right? You know that I can do nothing the easy way when I can do it the hardest but more satisfying way possible.

I signed up for 150% of my “independent study” hours and then in the first week of class, realized that I really wanted to take a Gothic Fiction class too. My reasoning was that many of the books were already on my comp list, so I’d be group studying for my comps instead of doing it by myself in my windowless office (another bonus for Year 3 doctoral student? I got to move into a different office that I rarely share with anyone and I no longer have to listen to the urinal flushes from the men’s restroom on the other side of the wall).

I also agreed to stay on as Fiction Editor for the literary journal instead of teaching another class. Why? Because I felt like it was a better compromise from what they wanted me to do, which was be managing editor. That and a new Editor In Chief/faculty person was coming on board, so I wanted NOTHING to do with that business. It turns out I still have plenty to do with that business — but you knew that already because, dear reader, you know me better than anyone! Of COURSE Bix will see the extra mile and then suggest taking the longer but more scenic route.

And despite the fact that I’ve been heads down during what is easily the most stressful semester of my entire career (although really? That was the first spring semester when I was also organizing a giant book festival 1700 miles away and was so stressed that I was losing my hair), doing stuff I’m not supposed to be doing, what did I suggest to that new Editor in Chief? We should TOTALLY run a spontaneous holiday issue — one with less than a month’s worth of turnaround time from call of submissions to delivery of issue. And also? Schedule it when everyone is stressed out already. Definitely do that.

I also have been applying for jobs — which is almost a job in itself. The state of academia is dismal, so I’m kind of in a few levels of Dante’s hell when I look at the (lack of) jobs that come up in my desired home state of Wisconsin. I ALSO have been nominated for a few fellowships — which if I am awarded them, I won’t HAVE to work for a year — I’ll be essentially paid to write. The only catch there is that I would put off getting my doctorate for a year because you have to be a student while on the University’s dole. And then there’s the third scenario which is that none of those things happen, I graduate as expected in May and then we move back and I don’t have a job and write full time except without anyone paying me to do it (not, you know, immediately). Which is also a thing that could happen. You know what helps soothe people with control issues? Not knowing what’s going to happen! So you instead just put your shoulder into things and just keep swimming and knocking down thing after thing after thing and try not to think about how much you have to do next.

And then also sign up for Holidailies! Thanks, Past Bix. You bananas-ass bitch.

I need someone to come and decorate for the holidays, please and thank you. The end of the semester can’t come soon enough.