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Category Archives: Diaryland

No

Oh my god, today all the karma in the world caught up with me. It didn’t start out too horribly. I didn’t sever an artery with my Gillette Power Mach 3 in the shower (death by ankle whacking’ how delightful) or electrocute myself with my Flash Gordon hair dryer or anything, so that wasn’t too […]

War of the Roses

Garg, how did it get to be a week later? How? I ask this of you? (Please don’t tell the comments how it happened’ really, I’m just being stupid) So, um, yeah. Let’s see. Randomness. I’ve made it to the farmer’s market for the past four weekends. I know! Big shock! I always want to […]

The Cider House Fools

When it comes to my family (with the exception of my sister) I tend to take a hands-off approach. I have learned through sad, miserable experience that the more contact I have with them, the more crazy I feel. For instance, if I call my mother just to talk, she will immediately launch into a […]

Emminent domain

Carissa : I’m just going to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back. Weetabix : Ok, I need your opinion on something. Let’s say, you’re in the bathroom at work. Penny : Which bathroom’ one of the bays? Weetabix : No, the little one by human resources. Penny : Ok. Weetabix : And you go […]

I brought you a grated papaya and waited all night by your door

This entry was nominated and received a Diarist Award for Q1 2004. I am very honored. Things like that remind me that I shouldn’t be nervous about putting up schmoopy or questionable stuff, which is something that all writers struggle with sometimes. Bit of trivia: that first uterus entry almost got deleted before it was […]

Small craft advisory

There are crazy things involved with being a girl. Crazy crazy things. Sometimes I shake my head and just don’t even understand them myself, and hey, I AM one, so I can’t imagine how boys deal with that (aside from just blindly accepting things like those foamy toe separators and forty thousand dollar hair goop […]

Emergency broadcast system

Honestly, I love summer. Summer Slacker Girl is back and here to stay, at least for a few months. I am, at this very moment, wearing Birkenstocks and my toenails are painted Rock and Roll Red. That pretty much symbolizes my entire worldview right there. Feet as metaphor. Hmmm. I need another pedicure. I feel […]

Straight but not narrow

If you don’t want to sit through the political activist portion of today’s entry, skip to the first horizontal line, where we return to normal Weetabix hijinx. The U.S. Senate is voting on the Federal Marriage Amendment in 3 weeks. Call or write your Senator and tell them how you feel about this act. I’m […]

Occipital Love

Yesterday, I stayed home from work with a baby migraine, which wasn’t so bad, as it seemed to dissipate once I laid on the steady stream of Canadian imported Tylenol 3 (love that Mare! Love her!). I spent most of the day wandering around the house wearing a baggy red t-shirt, a pair of white […]

Resolutions for June 21st

I will write at least fourteen books which will have spectacular author photos on the back covers, at least one of which will be me, in which I will be laughing while looking downward, as though to say ‘Oh goodness, that is very droll.’ When I go golfing and studiously apply SPF 400 to my […]

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