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Category Archives: Diaryland

Sleeping single in a king size Galleria bed at JournalCon

So Fall. It’s mofo Fall already. Oh, sure, not in the rest of the country, but here in Wisconsin, we are only scant weeks from seeing white stuff. We don’t actually have Fall or Spring here. We get like a week of Fall and a week of rain that we call Spring. And then schwoom! […]

Half cap no foam no fat soy venti latte, please…. with a cinnamon

scone. And butter. I broke down today and went through Starbucks for a damn Venti Tazo Chai Frappuchino. Damn, it’s so good. Cold and creamy and undoubtedly chock full of sin. They should just cut through the crap and call it what it is. It’s basically a milkshake that is Adult-Friendly with that green alluring […]

The one where I should have just played some Solitaire or something

So last night, I was bored. And what do bored people do when they are home alone and have already watched all of their DVDs and they should be working on their grad school applications and researching schools but they really don’t because it just seems like a waste of time and they just found […]

Fallout from the Attack of the 50 ft. Menstral Cramp

I’ve totally got ‘Cool Rider’ stuck in my head from Grease 2 because MoPie used it in the title of her one of her latest entries. Poor poor Michelle Pfeiffer. I doubt that she fully understands that like a zillion women in their late twenties/early thirties spent their adolescence secretly wishing for a Pink Ladies […]

Not again!

Weetabix’s Uterus: I want Oreos. Weetabix: I just had a bunch of sweet stuff. I don’t need anymore sugar. I’m going to turn into a diabetic or something. Weetabix’s Uterus: I want Oreos and you can always get some insulin somewhere. I think they make that from sheep pancreas or something. You have good insurance. […]

Reasons why girls are dumb… part 2

Gah. So yesterday. I had a meeting with one of my new coworkers in my new position. Without going into big details, essentially I will be working with a small team but it will be on a very visible account for the conglomerate, not just our segment of the business. That’s scary. You trip and […]

45% Less Filling

Entirely random: Nikki McKibbon. I hate her name. She cannot win American Idols (aside from the fact that she’s terribly off key) for that reason. It reminds me of Kimmie Gibbler from Full House. Disturbed by my caffeine dependence at the courthouse earlier this week, I have cut back on caffeine. Yesterday, I only had […]

I’m a little upset that we didn’t have a Johnny Cochran making snappy rhymes, though

So Jury Duty. I had this elaborate Jury outfit planned. One of my black blazers, my slimline trousers, black flats with no socks, and my brand new sort of snakeskin looking shirt that is also a tad see-through. You know, to add that little bit of trashy sexuality to the juror’s box. Shake up the […]

Lime green flowered capri pants… they’re a bad thing

The problem with being a slacker is that so much happens in between entries that I can barely bring myself to write about. Here’s the Low Attention Span Version: Went golfing with Penny and Mary. I sucked Bob Dole’s Penis for the first 5 holes. Actually, I rock out like No Doubt during the driving […]

Things that make you go “Gah!”

Oh man. I’ve been such a slacker. Don’t worry. I’ve already had a concerned email from Roadie wondering if perhaps I had been thrown in jail after our ballyhooed trip to the Bad Bar. Nah. Just lazy. I’m pretty sure that’s not against the law yet. First of all, the grossness. I’m warning you right […]

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