Saturday, January 5, 2002
Esteban: How are you feeling? Weetabix: Like dog saliva. Esteban: Yum. Weetabix: (Watching a commercial for Hair Club for Men)The first rule about Hair Club: don’t talk about Hair Club. The second rule about Hair Club: you don’t talk about Hair Club. Esteban: Yes, maybe you should stop reading that book… by the way, now […]
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I’m sick. I think Esteban tried to poison me. Ok, that doesn’t explain why he had this same thing yesterday. Maybe he was putting the poison in my Carnation Instant Breakfast drink and accidentally licked his fingers. Maybe it was somewhat delicious poison? Apparently, it’s the “Don’t go far from a bathroom” poison. I went […]
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Thursday, January 3, 2002
I’ve reached a strange and somewhat disturbing point in my life. Yesterday, I knowingly went to a gas station whose gas was priced higher than the competitor across the road. Why? Because their pumps were closer to the door and it was something like 6 degrees out. That’s why. I made a mental decision that […]
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Wednesday, January 2, 2002
I’m not really one for New Year’s resolutions. I find that New Years is a crutch for people who can’t get motivated. I honestly think that if you find something about yourself that you feel you should change, then begin right now’ this very second. Doesn’t matter if it’s March 22 or the day before […]
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Monday, December 31, 2001
Last year, I wrote an ‘summing up the year’ entry for 2000. Here’s 2001. My normal entry is here I played laser tag with a bunch of 12-year-olds and reacquainted myself with laughing so much that milk comes out of ones nose. I became a diarist. I got quoted, interviewed, nova noted, and blogged, but […]
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Monday, December 31, 2001
This weekend, I’ve been suffering from a rampant bout of stupidity. Don’t ask me why. I don’t know. I’m too dumb to figure it out. I think I go through these phases’ it’s all a way of evening things out. I can be really freaking brilliant for moments but then must suffer from intense retardation […]
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Saturday, December 29, 2001
Oh my god, my groin really hurts. No, not that part of it, sheesh, get your mind out of the gutter. The muscle that connects my leg to… I don’t know what… to something… somewhere… in the pelvic region. That part hurts. I have a groin injury. And the worst part is that I don’t […]
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Friday, December 28, 2001
I’m only at work for a partial day today, but it feels like the last day of school. I don’t want to actually do anything. I want to drive to Appleton and buy HobNobs at the Irish store there, and also some very lovely expensive panties, which are not at the Irish store, but rather […]
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Thursday, December 27, 2001
I worry sometimes that I watch Bring it On far too often. I worry that it makes me a geek. I worry that I may someday call my boss a ‘cheertator’. I worry that when someone inevitably walks into the meat locker that they call our cubicle farm and says ‘Brrr it’s cold in here’ […]
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Wednesday, December 26, 2001
So Christmas. It was a veritable stew of family dysfunction. My family aside, for whom dysfunctional interactions are an art, much like an Obsession by Calvin Klein commercial, the winner for dysfunction is Esteban’s paternal side of the family. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a bad thing. It’s kind of a Jerry Springer meets […]
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