Tuesday, December 4, 2001
Ashley Judd is quite possibly one of the perfect people in the world. I think I might have a crush on her. Esteban and I watched ‘Someone Like You’ or was it ‘Something I Smell’ or ‘Someone Who Happened To Look Hot Without His Shirt On’ or maybe ‘Another Movie In Which Greg Kinnear Plays […]
Also filed in
|
|
I just realized that almost every grown girl I know really truly ruly wanted an Easy Bake Oven when they were children. Nearly every one. Even some boys wanted that thing. But no one ever got one. Well, I knew one girl who had one, but she put her hamster in the oven…. she said […]
Also filed in
|
|
Saturday, December 1, 2001
You know, sometimes I believe I am honestly so darned cute that I have a bit of a crush on myself. Today, however, was not one of those days. Today, I partook in a tradition which is held as very holy in the finer trailer parks and Nascar rallies across the land. I wore sweatpants. […]
Also filed in
|
|
Saturday, December 1, 2001
Oh my lord. That is wrong on so many levels…. I can’t even begin to imagine. Kudos, however, to the big Poo character they have. That made me laugh.
Also filed in
|
|
Friday, November 30, 2001
Does snot have calories? I’ve been swallowing an awful lot of it the last few days and I’m wondering if it is hampering my efforts at losing some of the extra ass I have. I really need to be Holly Homemaker this weekend. Our living room has gone to seed. All of the shopping I’ve […]
Also filed in
|
|
Thursday, November 29, 2001
After the thing about the soup, I checked our pantry. We have 19 cans of Campbell’s soup. All lined up on their very own shelf. It’s like Andy Warhol had sex in our pantry. Don’t ask me how it’s like that. It just is. Somehow, somewhere, I became the person at work that everyone says […]
Also filed in
|
|
Tuesday, November 27, 2001
I came home tonight and Esteban was listening to the banjo song from Deliverance. “This is the song from Deliverance!” I said, walking into the house, looking cute, but not as cute as yesterday. “Yeah?” Esteban countered. “It’s just music.” “I know, but there’s something singularly disturbing about walking into the house and finding your […]
Also filed in
|
|
Tuesday, November 27, 2001
I work near a bunch of military type facilities. Some mornings, I see incredibly fit men and women jogging past me, their breath steaming out of their mouths in white clouds as I drive past them, sucking down an Egg McMuffin and jumbo Diet Coke. This morning, they were all in camo and it reminded […]
Also filed in
|
|
Monday, November 26, 2001
Oh my god, I am so stoned on Nitrous Oxide. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! The pretty colors! Look at all the pretty colors!!!! So, I’m lying there and I gave the dental hygenist a piece of my mind before she gave me the gas. “The last time I got drilled, he had to give me seven shots before […]
Also filed in
|
|
Monday, November 26, 2001
Dang I look cute today! Yesterday, I went shopping for clothing, part of my continuing quest to selfishly buy items for myself rather than Christmas presents for my friends and loved ones. But hey, I got some hot clothes, though. Two pairs of pants, a black blazer, a charcoal blazer with matching charcoal skirt, a […]
Also filed in
|
|