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Category Archives: Diaryland

Remote? I’d hate to see it with a cord!

Yesterday afternoon at work, I was speaking on the phone with a gentleman in Tampa, walking through various procedures on the computer with him, when suddenly there was a HUMONGOUS BOOOOOM!!!!!!!!! Then my monitor went sort of tie-died bluish purple and the phone went dead. We had been struck by lightening. As I am writing […]

Yea, though I walk through the valley of sleepiness, I feel no grogginess. My Diet Coke comforts me.

Well, I’ve given up. It’s 8:39 A.M. and I have downed the better part of a 32 oz McDonald’s Diet Coke. This is not my finest hour. I decided that I had proved my point. After all, I wanted to know that I could give it up if I wanted to’that I was not powerless […]

Do they make caffeinated air???

Ok, this begins Day One of the Decaffeinated Weetabix. My blood has the viscosity of slightly overcooked oatmeal. My head is filled with lovely bunches of cotton It is 10:30 a.m. I’ve decided that I’m going to, for the most part, pretend that I’m a vegetarian. When I was a vegetarian, I ate rather healthy […]

How about if I just cut back on onions, olives and liver instead?

I’m thinking about not drinking Diet Coke anymore. It can’t be terribly good for you. Also, I learned that soda manufacturers wrongly list that diet soda with Nutrasweet contains zero calories. C’mon people. Remember back when Paula Abdul used to sing ‘Just 1 calorie! Diet Coke!’. Look at a Diet Coke label today and you’ll […]

Prithee, fine squire, shut the hell up?

Yesterday, I brought my mom and my little brother Jonathon to the Renaissance Fair. It was sort of spur of the moment’ a very cool day (64-70 degrees) and a day when we didn’t already have some major thing planned. The stars were in alignment, so to speak. I should preface this here by saying […]

Sort of like “A Star is Born”, but with Dirk Diggler

It’s a lovely Friday. Esteban is coming home from Banff tomorrow night. I’m wearing shorts to work. I took some allergy medicine last night so I slept wonderful restful druggie sleep smack in the middle of the bed. My hair is behaving. It’s a wonderful day. Last night, when I put my dinner leftovers (mozzarella […]

Now with 45% more RIBOFLAVIN!!!

Last night, our volleyball team got shanked again’this time by a team with only four players. I’m a little discombobulated now. I mean, we used to be in second place, losing out only to a team of cyborg barflies for whom chronic drinking has the same affect as training at high altitudes. And I was […]

Convenient Feminism: the religion of the Gen X woman

My life is completely hypocritical. I pride myself on being a feminist. I can point out politically incorrect ad campaigns and dissect insulting behavior in a heartbeat. Yet in my every day actions, I am a helpless wittle flower, wilting at the sign of adversity or gender-opposite tasks. This morning, I told you about how […]

Singing about Girl on Girl action!

This summer I decided that I was going to do something that I’ve wanted to do all of my life: get professional vocal training. I’ve sung a lot in bars and stuff, but I really want to get involved in musical theatre and just be more satisfied with my voice in general. I decided to […]

So… you’re saying that watching a lot of Star Trek is bad?

Now a bit of disturbing news from the family that puts the ‘fun’ in ‘dysfunctional’: My Mafia Grandma’s Betty is in the hospital. Perhaps I should explain. My Mafia Grandma couldn’t stand working for the MAN anymore, so she became her own boss. She had a lot of experience working in group homes, so she […]

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