Last night, I told Esteban about the whole Unclebob thing and I think he’s getting a little jealous. Also, he was disturbed that I’m calling him the Burgermeister. He wanted you all to know that he’s not the Burgermeister. Then he gave me this whole performance anxiety about the diary, talking about page hits, unique […]
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This just in! I love watching comedy hour… also known as the local news. Last night’s major story: at the Bellin Run (a large annual marathon-type thing, if you couldn’t tell that from the word “Run”), participants were asked to vote on which of the logos from previous Runs they preferred. The overwhelming majority of […]
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Ok, first a clarification, Monitor remembers Alice having her own bathroom off her bedroom by the laundry room. And then I recalled an episode which had Mr. Brady brushing his teeth while talking with Carol, who was reading in bed. Thus, a third bathroom in the Brady household. I shall doubt Mike’s credibility as an […]
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Ok, so today has been really crazy. In a good way, not in a Margot-Kidder-singing-“Jesus Loves Me”-in-a neighbor’s-backyard kind of way. First this morning. I was touched by greatness and received several loverly emails from the crew. Just to put in perspective how influential Unclebob is (or UB, as some call him), my diary normally […]
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UNCLEBOB favorited me!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god. What a day this has been already and it is not even 10 AM. I feel like I’ve been touched by greatness. Like those women who, when they met Elvis, fainted. I’d always suspected it was because the Kahng had peanut-butter-and-bacon-sandwich breath, but now I know. Because Unclebob…. I […]
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Ok, nary 3 hours ’till the pinnacle of Birthweek festivities (actual BirthDAY), and still not a sign of Unclebob. I think with all the free advertising I’ve given him, the mofo owes me a favorite, don’t you? Well? I am still in my twenties! Tee minus two hours fifty-four minutes and counting…. I’m all conflicted […]
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Today at work they are working on the big space next to our department. Actually, they’ve been doing this for over a month, hammering, pounding, sawing, bumping, grinding, pole-dancing and what have you. And you KNOW how much I hate drilling. It makes me insane. Voices, the voices! Kill the dentist! KILL the dentist!…Um,…anyway….we’ve got […]
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Ok, THIS is too funny. I should not be laughing. The pain and agony of a skanky celebrity’s husband is not funny. We here at Weetabix.diaryland.com do not condone laughing at the suffering and misfortune of the celebrity spouses or hangers on, even when they do something stupid or marry Tom Arnold. To recap, for […]
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I was emailing Tess about reclaiming the “Fat Girl” and the word “Fat” and I thought I’d do an entry about it. I realize that I’ve alluded to being fat in previous entries, but here’s the whole shebang. An obligatory entry from a female diarist about her relationship with food, if you will. I’ve thought […]
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I have this intense suspicion that the people at Taco Bell are really using dog food grade beef in their food. Because how else could they slap 1/3 pound of hamburger on a 79 cent taco? I don’t know why I still eat there. I think they make their profit in soda sales. I got […]
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