Overheard: “If you had a penis on your chest, I’d bet it would make belly-flops in the pool a reallll bitch.” Today began as a hellish “Clean the House” day and got so much worse. First off, I was awoken by the sound of the phone ringing at 8:00 a.m. this morning. On a Saturday. […]
Last night, Esteban and I went to a supper club type place with Joel and Cheri and ate much underdone steak. Afterwards, we were standing around in the parking lot, silent, listening to the gastric acids in our stomachs break down the protein-heavy meal into various enzymes and apparently this made those folks with Y-chromosomes […]
Last night, whilst I was traipsing around in my pajamas which look like actual clothing, I ventured outside and promptly stepped on a bug with my bare feet. At first I did not know what I had stepped on, just that there was this suspicious firm pebble-sized object now affixed to my right big toe, […]
Have you tried McDonald’s new bagel breakfast sandwiches? Do they all have hollandaise sauce on them? Because I’m pretty sure that I’ve had several of these with no hollandaise sauce on them and then this morning, I unsuspectingly ordered a sausage/egg/cheese bagel sandwich and took a bite and almost projectile vomited into oncoming traffic. God, […]
Throcky compared me to Molly Ivins. I did not know who she was, so I had to look her up. She’s funny. If you don’t know who Molly Ivins is either, you can check her out here I’m really getting sick of these little “in-jokes” about how men don’t understand women. This entry is for […]
have their lives taped… the Germ World Today is more or less back to normal. I’m back at work and doing the “I’m freezing/I’m burning up” thing. God, people are going to think that I’m doing the menopause thing. Next thing you know, I’ll be lying on the floor hugging the toilet because it’s mercifully […]
I was trying to think of a cool quote to put on this here diary and all I could think of was lines from “The Simpsons” or “Do I make you horny baby? Do I?” from “Austin Powers”. And that makes me very sad indeed. And then I got even more sad because I slept […]
Oh my god. I feel like warmed over death. Last night after my bizarre Dyna Girl entry, I took some of Esteban’s happy golden sleep medicine and then went to lay down in our bedroom. For a little while, I thought I was delirious. I mean, I could hear this bizarre shit music. Who let […]
Blue Armadillo’s Weblog turned me on to this fabulous site about Electra Woman and Dyna Girl. Dyna Girl. Can you imagine putting that crap on your resume? Yet at the same time, I covet her name. Dyna Girl. It sort of sings. So it’s a plus and minus kind of name. Anyway, here’s a picture […]
I somehow think that somewhere there is an official record of everything you ever do. And there are little statisticians who rate everything. You know, Most Embarassing Moments, Best 10 Kisses Ever, Jobs I Would Have Been Great At, etc. I don’t know who these statisticians are, but I’m certain that somewhere, someone’s keeping track. […]
