You know what’s scary? Sleestacks. You know, from “The Land of the Lost”, with Marshall Will and Holly, who were on a routine expidetion when the greatest earthquake ever known occurred. Sleestacks. Eeek. You know, they come at you with those lobster claw things and they make that noise at you (Weetabix tilts head back […]
So the measuring: She tells me, “Ok, I’ll need your shoulders and your bust to neck mesurements and your arms.” And I relax because, hey, how many people have FAT bust to neck measurements. It’s not like people in personal ads remark “Svelte SWF, curvy with a luscious 12 inches from bust to neck….” Phew! […]
Would Faith Hill be considered such a great singer if she didn’t look like a Barbie doll? Cause seriously, she really isn’t all that good. I’d call her mediocre. And that’s after all the sound mixing and digitalizing that they do on their voices. They can make a Howler Monkey sound good these days. So […]
Am I the only one who sees that the song “Butterfly” by Crazy Town is about making a woman have an orgasm? “Come my lady, come come my lady, I’ll make your legs shake, you’ll make me go crazy.” Am I? Or is it just me. ***************************************************** This morning, I’m driving to work with my […]
So after weeks of bemoaning my need for a banner ad for Diaryland, I finally created it. Lucky for me that my niece Abigail is some completely cute. That’s her posing for the ad. She does not, in fact, have lobsters down her pants. That was my idea of “clever”. I sat there and hit […]
So far, analysis on the Porn Twin is that I am not delusional. I’m starting to have Joey Tribiani’s “Identical Hand Twin” theme song running through my head, except with Porn Twin lyrics. It’s crazy wacky stuff. Trust me. It is. ***************************************************** The Weet-Web is now up, albeit very depressingly boring. And some of the […]
Ok, I cleaned up the photo of the Naked Porn Twin and have a similiar photo of myself for your perusal. Here’s the Porn Twin…. And here’s the Weetabix (this was taken about two years ago at my and Esteban’s wedding, but I’m too lazy to look for one from my college years, so just […]
Reasons why I’m a freak: When I was a child, I had a very rare condition called SYNETHESIA. That’s a condition that is only found in one out of 28,000 people. It’s where you experience one sense as well as another one. Some people feel textures when they taste something. Some people hear sounds when […]
So right now I’m eating an old “binge” favorite: chocolate bar dipped into Jif creamy peanut butter. Don’t look at me that way, it’s my lunch damn it! Anyway, I prepped by bringing in two Hershey’s chocolate bars and the jar of Jif. Just finished one and you know what? It’s not as fun to […]
Just saw “Pearl Harbor”. Ben Affleck and the new talent… I’ll just call him Eye Candy Boy were good. I ended up absolutely hating Kate Beckinsale because it seemed like the producers were going for a Ben Affleck/Liv Tyler thing again but couldn’t afford Liv’s asking price. Plus, she’s bone thin. At one point, you […]
