Wow. I’m tired, y’all.
Apparently when I am tired, I go all Southern. I should be whoring around with my first cousin any day now.
I think I got three hours of sleep last night because my body is still rigidly attached to the idea of getting up in time to milk cows. Forget the fact that I have no cows and have never needed to get up in time to express their milk. Which sounds like a Madonna post-children song, non?
I blew a wad of cash right away on Friday morning, scoring an incredible pair of white gold princess cut earrings in Union Square. They make me feel like Audrey Hepburn. Only round and tall rather than petite and waiflike. And instead of that incredible accent, mine takes vowels and spanks their asses. Hard.
Speaking of ass spankings… went out and had a night of merriment and lascivious behavior with Mopie, who looks hot despite what she claims about some mysterious mushroom haircut, Jenfu, and Chauffi where we went to the Best. Karaoke. Bar.
EVER.
And I peed in my first ever unisex bathroom. It was a bit unnerving, what with the urinal in there. I got confused, and things were touch and go but I think I managed ok. I think it will make for a very nice dramatic montage during the VH1: Behind the Diarist dramatic reinactment in which the role of MoPie is played by Jenene Garafolo, the role of Jenfu is played by Eliza Dushku and the role of Chauffi is played by James Vanderbeek. I, of course, will be played by the boobsome girl from Less Than Perfect.
Anywhoo, so far, Chauffi has summed up the night quite nicely here. And I just came home from breakfast in the Castro with Drewbear, a charming host who gave me an incredible tour and made sure I had cafeine and breakfast. It’s no wonder he is apparently is the Most Popular Man in the Castro because he knew EVERYONE. And someone whistled at Drewbear while we were walking around drinking coffee. It was the first time I’ve ever been walking on the street with a man and the catcall wasn’t for me. It was a definitive moment in my life and I was very unnerved by the whole thing. I’m trying not to take it personally.
So anyway, there are the highlights. Phew. Tired but ready for more.
PS. The hills still suck.
