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Category Archives: Diaryland

100 Reasons Why Weetabix Is Dumb

So I’ve mentioned how I’m applying to some graduate programs in English, right? Well, I was surfing today and found a list of some publisher’s 100 essential modern novels. And now I’m reconsidering because man, I realize I went to a stoopid local liberal arts college and I realize that I skated by with a […]

Entry Completed

Part One of this entry can be found here FYI: The mouse is still in the house. That’s going to be an entry in and of itself. Where was I? Oh yes, I’d just completed the first point on the outline titled ‘Getting the Hell Out of Dodge’. Thank god for the outline. Because none […]

Entry Interupted

Oh my goodness. This is going to be a long entry. Perhaps it will be concentrated, like a wordly demi glace? So many things happened in the last few days, I’ve actually made an outline so that I don’t forget anything. I hate doing that. I hate having to organize an entry. Usually, I just […]

Yes, Goofy was his lover.

I realized yesterday while watching my TiVo’d reruns of Soap (funniest line ever: “There are lot of famous gay people…. Plato.” “Mickey Mouse’s dog was gay?” Ok, it’s so much funnier if you see it on the show. It doesn’t translate well, but I actually got a stitch in my side from laughing at that. […]

Um… it’s like…. yeah… or something.

I think work has spazzed out my brain. I’m completely fried. I must be the embodiment of the Peter Principle because it uses up all my smart stuff. I can think of nothing intelligent to say any longer. I’m stymied by the simplest things. Just now, Esteban called me from his cell phone. ‘Have you […]

Can you hear the shitasses sing?

So now that I’ve got my 500th entry off my ass, I’m feeling pretty good about the diary. You might have noticed that I had been slowing down a bit, inching toward that big number, and that was why. While on the phone with Chauffi one night, I said “Do you realize that my last […]

Batting .500

Nostalgia is a funny thing. It sneaks up on you the older you get. I had lunch with my friend Fern yesterday and she handed me two hand-written poems I had written for her when we were teenagers. One was about the street sweepers that keep Green Bay’s streets clean (they used to scare both […]

My Diaryland Trading Card

I wrote a big whiny lame entry last night about how stressed I was. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to post it, but I was in love with a stigmata joke that I made, so I posted it. But honestly, the stigmata joke wasn’t enough to carry the entry. So I killed it […]

Tales of the Vanilla Mocha Inept

This morning it occurred to me as I was brushing my teeth that I hadn’t a clue what I was going to wear. That’s unusual, right there. Normally, it gives me a grand sense of security to have my outfit planned to the undergarments and socks. I don’t have a chart or anything, but I […]

You don’t have to call me darlin’, darlin’

Penny and I are sitting in Sports Bar #54 in downtown Green Bay. Around us, fraternity boys in baseball caps with the brims curved just so are playing video golf and drinking Heineken. I didn’t really want to go out drinking but I accepted Penny’s proposition to go to karaoke, where I could drink just […]

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