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It’s a wonder he still stays married to me

8:32 pm

Weetabix: I’m not liking my stomach today.

Esteban: Don’t be ridiculous. I love your stomach.

Weetabix: You’re not even looking at me when you say it… you’re looking off in the distance.

Esteban: That’s because my eyes are sore from staring at a computer screen all day. You’re just all blurry and grey.

Weetabix: Fat grey blurry blob.

Esteban: No… do you want to go out and get dessert?

Weetabix: I just told you that I was not liking my stomach today and you ask if we should go out and get dessert?

Esteban: I’m sorry, that was probably poorly timed…. Did you have a good day at work today?

Weetabix:Yeah, I guess. I was pretty busy, but it’s Friday so that’s nice.

Esteban: That’s good sweetie… do you want to go get dessert?

Weetabix:Esteban!

Esteban:What’s the flavor of the day today.

Weetabix: I’m not saying.

Esteban:I probably don’t want to know.

Weetabix:You probably don’t.

Esteban: If it’s “Death By Chocolate” then you should jump up and say “Esteban, it’s Death By Chocolate and we must go immediately and get some!”

Weetabix: You should probably go get some then.

Esteban: You’re just making that up.

(pause)

Weetabix: It IS Death By Chocolate

Esteban: It’s going to be Death By Urine if I don’t go to the bathroom right now.

(sounds of peeing, flushing, handwashing)

Esteban:Let’s go then.

Weetabix: You can’t just demand that I do whatever you want.

Esteban: If I were demanding anything, I’d be saying “Give me oral pleasure” like this (Esteban affects a suave, hip tone of voice and accent) “Give me oral pleasure baby!”

Weetabix:

Esteban:So you’re just going to ignore me then?

Weetabix: I’m in my pajamas right now… I don’t even have a bra on.

Esteban:Really? (he wiggles his eyebrows) No bra? (He affects the accent again) “Give me oral pleasure”

Weetabix: Let’s go get your ice cream.

Esteban: You’re going like that?

Weetabix: I have my sweatshirt on over.

Esteban: You just have socks on.

Weetabix: It’s dry out.

Esteban: It’s winter out.

Weetabix: It’s ALMOST barely winter… this is probably the last time I’ll be able to do this.

Esteban: (you can see his breath): It’s winter NOW…. are your feet cold?

Weetabix: (scurrying to car): Yes. Hurry.

Esteban: You only do this so I have to go in to get the ice cream.

Weetabix: Yep.

Esteban:You still should give me oral pleasure.

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