This morning, I was standing in the shower…. wait, I just lost half of you, didn’t I? Fantasizing about the hot curvy Weetabix bodkin all luscious and wet and slippery with Dove Extra Sensitive Non-Hivey Body Wash. Well, just stop it. Seriously. Walk it off. In reality, I get into the shower approximately 1.4 minutes […]
First of all, I just wanted to thank you all for the outpouring of sympathy on the Chelsea’s death. I was a bit awed by just how many comments, guestbook and message board entries, diary shoutouts, emails and e-cards we received yesterday. I can’t even begin to tell you how much it comforted me to […]
Today was the day. Chelsea has been acting aloof and sleepy for the last week. Aside from her concentration camp thinness, she’s normally a very social animal. Her meows have gotten quieter and quieter. I noticed that I hadn’t seen her near the dry food dish in at least a week, so I started feeding […]
So this weekend. I think it’s been a lost weekend of slackerdom. It started out productive enough. I stopped and picked up a few DVD’s and then came home. The television in our living room has been having issues for the last few months where it will intermittently go to static for the video feed. […]
There were no skinny bitches this time. There was, however, a very cute bartender named Buzz wearing red velvet pants. Yeah’ I’m pretty sure he was swishy, but Carissa isn’t buying any of it. Because so many heterosexual masculine men voluntarily go out wearing red velvet pants in July. Yeah. That’s what I’m thinking. Blind […]
Scene: Watching Friends on the TiVo in bed. Esteban: So… Ross is Mike. Weetabix: I’ve been saying that since 1994! That’s nothing new… Esteban: No… listen… Ross is Mike and Joey is Jason. Weetabix: No he is not! Esteban: Totally. Weetabix: (Watches as Joey does something that is completely Jason) Oh my god. Esteban: See? […]
Esteban has been working so intensively hard on his various projects once more that I rarely see the man. I find myself staring at him when I do see him, as if I don’t recognize him. ‘Him? I married him? Where was I when that happened?’ I think he’s going a bit feral without the […]
Just now: Weetabix: (Answering the phone and seeing Carissa on the caller id) Technical Support This is Weet-‘ Hey. Carissa: Hey. Weetabix: What’s up? Carissa: I’m, uh, reading your diary. What’s up with this ‘momtalk’ thing, which means ‘no bloody way in hell’. Weetabix: Well’ Carissa: That’s not what I meant. Weetabix: That’s what MY […]
So my Tivo. I’ve been using it religiously. To record Friends. Cry for me now. Mofo Friends. And not the new Friends that I missed because I was watching Big Tom and Big Tom’s Ass Crack on Survivor. No. I’m recording classic 1994 Friends repeats. You know, back when Joey wasn’t a mongoloid and Monica […]
oh, wait. Sometimes, I think I really should have listened more closely to all of that new age hippy dippy crap that was floating around my childhood home. You know, the one that believed that if you had an ear infection it was because you were listening to gossip, rather than routing around with dirty […]
